FINALLY!  After years of urging by friends and family, thinking of a name and an approach, and eating GOD knows how many snacks, junkfoodguy.com has finally launched!  I know I’m excited, especially after my week-long battle through bugs and bandwidth and server fails.  FAILS.

So yeah, this is just the beginning, and I encourage you to give me feedback as I struggle to add my thoughts to the blogosphere.  Want more pictures?  Less talking?  Tell me.  I am sure this is not going to be the end of technical difficulties and other snafus, but stick with me and I’ll show you some great junk food.  I promise.

What better way to kick it off than with my logo-sake: Nacho Cheese Doritos.

The Money Shot

I can’t tell you how much I love Doritos.  I spent many meals in college eating entire bags of Doritos. Cheese and salt and carbs – all a growing boy needs.  I knew that Nacho Cheese Doritos had to be the first item I reviewed.  Why?  Because of my logo. The cheesy fingertips everyone gets from eating Doritos – it really is a universal experience.  Recent Super Bowl commercials have highlighted this.

I somehow found a bag worth less than a dollar

A note about this label, “Nacho Cheese.”  Back in the day (ahem, back in MY day) original Doritos were either plain with no flavor or Nacho Cheese flavored.  Then, in the craze of the 80’s and 90’s to make everything XXXTREEEME, basic Doritos became Nacho CHEESIER.  Right, ’cause that makes sense. Thankfully, Doritos went back to the original name.

Flavored. Really. You don't say.

Apparently, Doritos are “Flavored Tortilla Chips.”  I (a) never realized Doritos needed a description and (b) until this blog, never even realized these words were printed on the bag.

Aaaaaaaaaaaaah

There really is nothing like the first opening of a bag of Doritos.  All the big chips are struggling to get out of the bag, inviting/wanting/needing you to eat them.  I feel the same way when I see some cleavage struggling to break free.  Like, “Errmm…lemme help you with…uh…that.”

Delectable

Whenever I crack open a bag of Doritos, I typically go for the three-finger grab of like five chips, and ram them into my mouth.  Doritos really do look that good.  Looks crunchy.  Savory.  Sinful.

One chip is not enough

A single Dorito is just small enough to fit in your mouth, but just big enough to punch your lights out with nacho cheese flavor.

Death by orange

The powdered cheese is all over this bitch.  It’s like an explosion of orange.  But what are those black specks supposed to be?  The natural charring of a tortilla that’s been heated on a griddle?  Are these Doritos hand cooked over a flame, such that the skin of the tortilla splinters open with corn goodness?  Are the red bits “flavor knives” waiting to pierce my tongue?  I don’t know, but I will believe anything you want to tell me, Doritos.  Lead me into this fantasy; you can do no wrong.

Orange side of the cheesy moon

Even at the microscopic (or in my case, max zoom on my camera) level, the cheese coverage of the Doritos is perfect.  Every crater is doused with salt, cheese cultures, and love.

This bag cost me $0.35, and was worth every penny.  Even if it did only contain approximately seven chips.

—–

So that’s it, first post done!  Tell me what you thought, and follow me on Twitter @junkfoodguy or LIKE me on Facebook! See you tomorrow and for many days to come.

Sincerely, Junk Food Guy