While baseball fans around the country watched the MLB All-Star festivities the past two days, culminating in tonight’s All-Star game, I have some thoughts from around the league:

1) Radio hosts nationwide are killing the poor kid who caught Jeter’s 3000th hit for, get this, NOT asking for money in exchange for the ball!  People have suggested that by NOT asking Jeter for at least 100K, he acted “arrogant,” like he was “too good for the money,” and that he should’ve gotten more than just the tickets and memorabilia he received.  I’m sorry, but is it so uncommon in our greedy society that someone actually went to a game for the sake of the game, turned over a historic ball like a classy normal person, and didn’t hang onto it as a bartering chip like some insufferable money grubbing self-centered douche!? Hey pundits – zip it and let the kid do whatever the eff he wants.

2) Robinson Cano beat Adrian Gonzalez last night in the HR Derby.  Being a Yankee fan, I was thrilled – of course, my mind had checked out two hours prior.  Three hours for the HR Derby!?  It gets old FAST. Back when steroids were in fashion, it was nice to see McGwire put on a show.  Now?  Even Chris Berman’s tourettes-like shouting of BACK BACK BACK wasn’t enough to keep me interested.

3) The MLB All-Star Game is tonight, and laden with problems.  I have one solution after the jump.

The Money Shot

Hershey’s Kisses are familiar to everyone, no?  Hasn’t Hershey’s pretty much cornered the market on chocolate?  Imagine my surprise, then, when I saw these – Hershey’s Kisses Air Delight.  Aerated milk chocolate.  Hoooo boy.  Why, Hershey’s, why?

Air bubbles depicted

This is what the kisses apparently look like, revealed in a cross-section photo.  It looks like they just drilled out holes in the chocolate, giving me less chocolate per delicious kiss.  Hey Hershey’s, *I* decide if I want less chocolate, NOT you.

So...what now?

Gently blends air into the chocolate for an airy texture, resulting in better melting.  Remember what I said about ice cream and air?  Same holds true here…and I’m not sure I like that.

Love the paper tag

I always get a kick out of the little paper tag that sticks out of every Hershey’s Kiss, labeling the flavor you are about to have.  I half expect there to be a fortune printed on it when removed.  Sidenote: I have never gotten a decent fortune in ANY Fortune Cookie.  Ever.  Fortunes, by definition, predict something.  I actually got one once that read: “You are a nice person.”  Thanks for nothing, cookie – now gimme my lottery numbers and leave.

TADA! It's...a kiss

We all know what an unwrapped Hershey’s Kiss looks like, but I had to include this photo.  Doesn’t it look like the Kiss is levitating a few millimeters above the foil??  I feel like I’m a photo genius.  How appropo for a Kiss that purports to be loaded with air.

(See it?  No?  The shadows make it look like its floating, no?  ….. hmmm.  Well I blame your eyes.  I totally see it.  Jerks.)

Hmmm, it's like I'm getting half the chocolate

With one bite, I was able to savor the taste of the chocolate.  Yep, it was airy, and light, and melted easily on my tongue, just as the label explained.  And the taste – well, its chocolate, no shocker there.  But while I didn’t hate it, it wasn’t some revelation in my mouth.  The added airiness of the chocolate felt waxy on my tongue, and while I appreciate that the fluffiness of the chocolate gave it a slightly creamy taste, it lacked richness or depth.

So that's what aerated chocolate looks like...

Looking closely, there aren’t the holes in the Kiss like the ones that are reflected on the package’s cover photo, but you can clearly see where the density of the chocolate was lessened.  The amazing softness of the chocolate, BTW, allowed for incredible tooth impressions.  Look at the marks in the photo above!  You could make a very small retainer out of this mold.

All in all, I give this chocolate a “meh” rating.  Maybe the public was clamoring for a lighter chocolate treat without sacrificing sugar.  If so, this is a good result.  Otherwise, I’ll stick to normal fully dense Kisses.

—-

The MLB All-Star game is a boring spectacle – pitchers come in for one inning, batters swap in and out without ever establishing a rhythm, and the stars all wear different uniforms out in the field (which DRIVES ME CRAZY).

To drive interest a few years back, MLB decided to award the winning league of the All-Star game the gift of home field during the World Series (idiotic).  MLB also added fan voting to determine starters of the game for each league (less idiotic, but still imperfect).  Managers then fill out the roster with at least one rep from every team, trying to put out a complete roster of players because, well, now the game has an actual impact on the post-season (which it shouldn’t).  Every year there are snubs and surprises, primarily because these managers are forced to choose based on need rather than merit.

And still, even after all this, the game is pretty boring.  I’m not going to re-hash the same arguments that everyone makes to try to fix the game, but wanted to suggest one thing to spice it up and maybe help alleviate some of the snubbing of good players: Managers should just choose all the best players they can, REGARDLESS of position.  Do it this way, and managers will feel less pressure to choose a second tier third baseman over a first tier first baseman in order to fill out positional need.

How would this work?  You add everyone you thought deserved to be on the team, and then just assign positions.  “But I’ve never played outfield,” says Joe Mauer.  Deal with it, Mauer!  You think it wouldn’t be enjoyable watching you eat it on regular fly balls?  You think it wouldn’t be entertaining watching CC Sabathia try to turn a double play with Alex Gordon in the infield?  YOU’D LOVE IT.

Yes, it’d be an absurd spectacle, but no more than it already is.  Think about it.

Sincerely, Junk Food Guy.