‘Ello, Junk Food Nation.  At 10am yesterday, NFL free agency and trades opened.  I was giddy like a five year old over the flurry of activity that I had imagined would happen, and I was not disappointed.  In 24 hours, Donovan McNabb was traded, star players were cut from rosters, the effing Jags stole away one of my Bills’ ILB, and the Seahawks decided to have a QB competition amongst guys who would normally be bagging groceries (here’s to you, Kurt Warner).

One thought struck me though – because all of these football transactions are happening in a compressed time schedule, some, if not all, of these players aren’t anywhere near their practice facilities.  The first questions between coach/team and player aren’t “Hey, let’s talk contract,” or even “Hey, what shape are you in?”  The first question was probably, “Hey…where the heck are you???” Some players might be on the other side of the US. If I was a man who loved collectibles, I’d be camped out at the airport waiting for players to fly in.

Moreover, these team facilities are still getting things in order, down to the very basics of moving sleds out onto the field, moving machines around, even just cleaning the locker room and getting stacks of towels ready.  It’s hard to remember sometimes that these organizations we love are still run by actual humans, and they have to put chairs in rows, make sure the AC works, and make sure everyone has IDs and keys like any office.

Anyways, just a brief thought I had while this crazy NFL week continues.  Today’s junk food is a healthy snack alert!  It’s a donated contribution from my former boss Kim: Food Should Taste Good-brand Olive Tortilla Chips!

The Money Shot

I haven’t reviewed a ton of “healthy” snacks, but these chips struck me as being the type you would find at a Balducci’s, a Whole Foods, or a Trader Joes.  I do love olives, however, so I was eager to give these chips a shot.

That's a long brand name

I’ve never heard of this brand before, but Food Should Taste Good’s (FSTG) website indicates that their food “tastes best” because its made with all natural ingredients.  They make a TON of other flavors of tortilla chips, including Cantina, Jalapeno, and White Cheddar.  Sounds good to me.

Like speckled Pizza Dough

FSTG has decided to put a big ass picture of the chip right on the front of the bag.  I like it – and I like that they’ve decided to get all artistic up in here, making the chip look like an old school painting.  That way, when I’m stuffing my face with these chips, I can prop the bag up and pretend like I’m civilized.

Ingredients up front

So these chips are gluten-free, they contain garlic and sea salt, and….hey wait, whaddya mean, “it’s a cracker, too!”???   Don’t confuse me now, FSTG.  Are they thick like crackers, but crunch like chips? Explain yourselves!  And why is that phrase trademarked?  Who’s stealing that?

Simple and natural

The trend these days is not only to have natural ingredients, but to have as few ingredients as possible. Which can be a good and bad thing – you know you’re not getting any artificial coloring or flavors, but then again, you know the flavor can only go so far.  I guess we won’t be seeing any FSTG Buffalo Wild Wing Tortilla Chips anytime soon.

Crunchy

Crispy rounds

Opening the bag, no surprises here – common tortilla rounds, speckled with coloring, and mirroring what was shown on the front of the bag.  I placed a chip in my mouth and crunched down, and was greeted by a pleasant olive flavor 🙂  As I chewed slowly, I could make out the olive taste, garlic, salt, and a somewhat round olive oil backdrop.  I could not distinguish between the black, green, and Kalamata olive bits – it was just a general olive taste.  But it was distinctly olive, which was satisfying.

Dried olives embedded

Looking closer at each chip, it was impressive to see what I can only assume were dried bits of olive spread all throughout the chip.  When I first looked inside the bag generally, they just looked like normal tortilla rounds – but a closer looked showed a lot of complexity.  Nice work, FSTG.

I would probably eat these again, but to be honest, I’m never in the mood for healthy snacks. If I’m in the mood for healthy, I just eat normal healthy foods – salads, meat, fish, etc.  When I go for a snack, I want POW and BAM and other onomatopoeias.  I want powdering and sugar and explosive flavor.  These were…well, boring to the part of my brain that craves junk food.  But I cannot deny that they tasted very good.  If you like olives, you’ll like these chips.

Sincerely, Junk Food Guy