Junk Food Nation, as I watched the University of Maryland football team, decked out in their amazing Underarmour uniforms, complete their victory over the University of Miami last night, I tried to remember who was in the BCS championship this past year…and was stuck.  Until I remembered Cam Newton and Auburn versus the Oregon Ducks. Phew.

But for a split second, I didn’t remember. And to be honest, if you asked who the BCS title game was last year? ….Texas vs Alabama? Was that last year or two years ago? In college basketball, I had to struggle to remember who was in the Final Four this past March (UConn, Butler, VCU and Kentucky…I think). But who was in the Final Four last year? I know Duke and Butler played in the title game…and that’s all I got.

Why can’t I remember right away?  At the end of the last baseball season, I could’ve told you who won the ERA title…now I have no clue.  Am I going senile?

More on this topic after the jump.  Today’s junk food came to me via my friend Shelley, who flew all the way from California to bring me this treat: Marini’s Milk Chocolate Covered Bacon!

The Money Shot

I’d had chocolate covered bacon before…or at least some form of it.  Vosges makes a milk chocolate bacon bar, but its basically a chocolate bar with bits of bacon in it.  When Shelley gave me this box, I could see immediately that these were actual strips of bacon dipped in chocolate. Delectable.

I appreciate the bacon on the label

Ooo girl you so fine

Marini’s is a Santa Cruz, California candy shop. If I am to believe its website, apparently salt water taffy is their big ticket item, having been featured on Food Network.  Their site describes this treat as follows:

“We start with hickory smoked bacon and it’s cooked in the oven until golden & crispy then we
smother it in our special blend of chocolate, to give you a taste sensation like nothing else you’ve ever had before.”

I enjoy taste sensations!

Drooling

When I opened the box, I was taken aback. These were big ol strips of bacon!  Each slice of thick cut bacon was drowned in chocolate. You can see above that the shape and integrity of each original piece of bacon was maintained.

That's a big ass piece o bacon

Back before I’d had any form of chocolate covered bacon, the idea of it really intrigued me.  I loved bacon, with its crunchy, salty, smoky flavor.  And I liked chocolate.  I’m not sure who thought of mixing the two first. The only savory/sweet things I’d had in the past with any regularity were kettle corn and breakfast eggs/sausage when the syrup from the pancakes happens to touch them.  But I’d never had chicken dipped in caramel or steak dipped in powdered sugar…so why did I think pork and chocolate might work?

Like a jerky and chocolate sandwich

I guess it was because chocolate and bacon represent the ultimate salty sweet combo, and since bacon was typical served in a dry crunchy state, it was the optimal vehicle.

I took a bite of my choco-bacon, and chewed…VERY interesting. Unlike the Vosges bar, which was primarily a chocolate bar with hints of smoky crunchiness in it – the bacon bits acting more like nuts or krispies in the candy bar – this was different. Here the bacon was extremely prominent – very crunchy, and you could taste every bit of it.  Smoky, salty, and …meaty. I could taste the pork.

Thick cut

The chocolate was…well, chocolate.  Sweet, smooth, milky chocolate-y (this choco-bacon was also available in dark chocolate).  The combo of the two was…interesting.  I really really enjoyed it, but it appealed to me differently than, say, a bag of Doritos or a box of Oreos would.  I found myself savoring the combo, trying to figure out the flavor notes and how they paired.

The most basic description I can give is that this combo touches your tongue on various notes…while you’re tasting the sweet, your mouth is also filled with smokiness, while your teeth are feeling both crunchy bits and smooth bits. It lit up various taste bud patches all at the same time.  Simply put, I would recommend trying this not necessarily because it tasted great and I could eat a boxful, but rather because the experience was unique.

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Sports and short-term memory go hand in hand.  Most people have a hard time remembering what happened last year or even the year before that because, well, there’s a lot of sports going on all the time! Your brain can only hold so much.  I can’t remember what I wore to work YESTERDAY, you expect me to know who was the Cy Young four years ago??

(As a sidenote: I believe short-term sports memory is often why people love to debate sports – if you’re able to remember even the smallest facts from yesteryear, you have a huge upper hand in the fact realm. I often think people debate sports trusting that their sparring partner won’t remember anything either.

“Dude, the Chargers are gonna suck this year.”

“No way, they had a top three offense and defense last year, it was just their special teams that kept them from the playoffs.”

“…I don’t think that’s true. Go look. I think.  There’s no way they were that good.”

“Maybe you’re right, I dunno.”)

Most fans, unless they have some personal tie to a sporting event, don’t remember who did what in sports from year to year.  And I would contend, they don’t really care to.  As much as fans like to crow about titles and statistics, sports is an entertainment business, and fans are a “what have you done for me lately” crowd. If your team loses in the playoffs, chances are you shut the TV off, shun news about the playoffs, heal for two months, and then look forward to the next season. As fans, most of the time, we are TRYING to forget what happened.

To that end, since not all fans can be satisfied at the same time, most fans enjoy storylines and legends; they like dynasties – not because they like that particular dominant team, like Jordan’s Bulls, per se, but because it creates an easy benchmark around which to built storylines. That’s why you always wanted the Yankees, the Bulls, the Patriots in the World Series, NBA Finals, Super Bowl – either you really loved those teams or you really loved to hate ’em and loved to see them lose. Either way, it became a story – the Sox finally beating the Yankees, the Giants toppling the Pats, etc.

Dynasties are relevant to sports memories because its just easier to remember who won when that team has won it three or four times in a row.  And because you remember it, you talk about it.  Dominance, either prevailing or falling, is what lasts in a fan’s mind, and helps defeat the problem of sports and short term memory. You may not remember the opponent, but you’ll always remember that the Bulls have two separate three-peat championship rings. You may not remember who won March Madness three years ago, but you’ll always remember the Fab Five.

One concluding thought to this rambling go-nowhere commentary on sports, short-term memory, and dynasties: this is exactly why the NBA lockout is going to last all year. No one cares about basketball. Despite the Laker’s rings in the past decade, there’s no dynasty.  This past season was a great story, focused primarily around the Miami Heat as villains for the season. But they aren’t a dynasty (yet) and they didn’t win. The sport is wholly forgettable…which is why, unlike football, you haven’t heard any outcry from fans to bring the NBA back.

Sincerely, Junk Food Guy