Junk Food Nation, today is National Pop-Tart Day!!!  Well, at least, according to California Tortilla it is. Per their in-house blogger:

“Believe it or not, on Tuesday, October 11th we’re celebrating our 17th annual Pop–Tarts Day. It’s my absolute favorite promotion that we do and we’ll be giving away 20,000 fabulously delicious Pop–Tarts (TM) pouches for free that day–19,996 more than we gave away on our first Pop–Tarts Day.*

“But that’s not all! Once again we’ve upped the Pop–Tarts Day ante. One customer from each of California Tortilla’s 35 locations could find a golden sticker hidden on his or her Pop–Tarts pouch. The golden ticket will entitle the aforementioned lucky customer to one burrito per week for 52 weeks! But, if you find it and you’re not really excited about it, we’re going to take it back. We have the technology.”

One burrito per week for 52 weeks????  HOLY SH*T.

In the spirit of this, today’s junk food are some Pop-Tarts that have been around for a while: Ice Cream Shoppe Frosted Vanilla Milkshake Pop-Tarts!

The Money Shot

Nation, I am well aware that these Ice Cream Shoppe Frosted Vanilla Milkshake Pop-Tarts have been out for a while, but I couldn’t help myself. Reviewing Cherry Turnover as the new Pop-Tart flavor is boring … it’s just cherry. But Frosted Vanilla Milkshake? In a Pop-Tart?  There’s no WAY these can be good…can they?

Xbox integration

Pop-Tarts is apparently going after even more cross-product marketing. California Tortilla not enough, Pop-Tarts? Need to get in on that Microsoft money eh? I don’t blame you…you corporate shills.  (This blog brought to you by…well, no one yet.  WTF. I wanna be a corporate shill!)

I don't want sprinkles in my milkshake

Ice Cream Shoppe, huh? We all fancy now, Pop-Tarts? Maybe I should hoppe down to the shoppe to buy some Poppe-Tarts, eh? (Yes, I think this is extremely funny).

Yay B Vitamins

Pop-Tarts, the last thing I am thinking about when I eat you are whether there are any trans fats, whether you contain calcium, and whether I can get not one, but five B Vitamins from you.  My only thought is “Don’t burn your tongue don’t burn your tongue don’t burn your tongue don’t burn your tongue don’t burn your tongue don’t burn your tongue don’t burn your tongue don’t burn your tongue don’t burn your tongue.”

Jump!!

Alright, apparently, if the inside of the box says I’m a winner, I can get an XBox Kinect and defy the laws of gravity as well!!!! WOOO!!!

WHAT!?

WELL EFF YOU TOO POP-TARTS!

Untoasted

Ice Cream Shoppe Frosted Vanilla Milkshake Pop-Tarts, untoasted. Looks pretty plain actually. Since when do milkshakes have sprinkles in them, by the way? I guess if your milkshake came with whipped cream on top, maybe you’d get a few sprinkles on there, but I always have pretty plain, well blended milkshakes. Not sure what Pop-Tarts is going for here.

My toaster! 🙂

Attention, everyone, this is my toaster. It’s beautiful, isn’t it? Wide slots for toasting bagels, and sleek in every way. I love it. Fingerprint smudges and all.

Once the Pop-Tarts popped up, an amazing vanilla smell wafted through the kitchen.  Sweet, pleasant, almost like a cake baking in the oven. Which would work if these Pop-Tarts were Birthday Cake flavor, or something.  Vanilla Milkshake? We’ll see…

Toasted!

Jeez, once toasted these Pop-Tarts start looking kind of brittle. And yes, I did burn my fingers trying to set up this artful photo.  Ergh.

Burned my fingers

OUCH! Even more burnt digits trying to open one up. Dare I try to actually bite into one?

Brimming with milky cream...yeeeg

Having blown on the Pop-Tart several hundred times, I was finally able to take a bite… and here’s the deal with these Ice Cream Shoppe Frosted Vanilla Milkshake Pop-Tarts. Typical Pop-Tart flavor? Sure…bleached dough, sweet vanilla frosting, crunchy wheaty aftertaste.  The filling – like a cross between vanilla frosting and marshmallow filling.  Tasty? I guess, but it was SUPER sweet.  Again, the whole thing tasted just like a lot of vanilla. NOT like a milkshake. Very unsatisfying.

I imagine trying to re-create a cold flavor like a vanilla milkshake can be tough in a piping hot item like a Pop-Tart…so why try, then?  I really didn’t think this flavor was successful.  Sorry, Kellogg’s.

Have you had these? Tell me what you think in the comments below or hit me on Twitter @junkfoodguy or on my Facebook Page.

Sincerely, Junk Food Guy