Junk Food Nation, I want to put this out there: I like me some automation in this world. I’m talking about automatic-opening doors, elevators, escalators, and moving walkways at airports.  When given the chance, I will ALWAYS take them. Because THAT’S WHAT THEY ARE THERE FOR. And it’s effing free, so enjoy.

But when any one of those things is broken, it drives me nuts. Now, I don’t want to say I’m lazy, because I am not…well, no lazier than YOU, I mean. Here’s how NOT lazy I am – I’ll actually return the grocery cart back to the front of store and not just look for the closest parking lot trough to shove the cart into. Yeah, that’s right. You got served.

In DC, there are a LOT of escalators, and DC’s subway system is WAY underground – it’s not like New York where you go down several steps. In DC, you go down like 50-60+ steps before you even reach the FIRST platform to PAY to go down further. It’s ridiculous. Anyways, today EVERYTHING was broken.

Near my house – escalator down: broken. Now when you’re rushing to work, the last thing you want to do is a 3K down a steep incline wearing work shoes with no tread. And while I do walk down this escalator most of the time, the added automated movement helps. But it was broken today – fine. Be that way.

Subway it over to work, and the escalator back up to ground level: broken.  WTF.  As a favorite comedian of mine, Jim Gaffigan would say, “The only thing worse than walking up stairs is walking up an escalator that’s not working. What’s the point, it’s like having a dead butler!” 

Then when I get to my office building, the automated doors: turned off!  Intentionally turned off by the guards at the front desk because, as they put it, “All that opening and closing lets in too much cold air.” Yeah, I’m sure the PEOPLE IN WHEELCHAIRS TRYING TO GET IN THINK SO TOO!

Anyways, just my grumbling rant for this morning. I know some of you out there like automation just like me. I’m still waiting for that Jetsons bed that lifts up at an angle and places you on your feet in the morning.

Today’s junk food, another truffle!  Limited Edition Lindt Beary Sweet Truffles!

The Money Shot

Limited Edition Lindt Beary Sweet Truffles were purchased at my local CVS. When I saw this, I thought “Oh cool, chocolate and honey! The bear…honey…” And then I read closer and discovered this truffle had nothing to do with honey.  Huh?

We’ll get to that in a minute.  Lindt, founded in 1845, is even older than Godiva.  It is a Swiss chocolate company whose long name is Lindt & Sprüngli AG. Sprüngli? Sprüngli. Yeah I dunno what that means either.

What does this mean?

Limited Edition Lindt Beary Sweet Truffles are a “seasonal flavor”…..but which season? I mean, the holiday season? I guess…with the red bag and all.  But Milk Sweet chocolate doesn’t really scream “holiday” to me, per se… and those are stars on the bag, not snowflakes… Maybe these are for Oscar Season? Stars, red (carpet) – makes sense to me!

Interesting sidenote: Most of the US Lindor truffles are manufactured in Stratham, New Hampshire. It is the US’s only Lindt factory, and has a population of about 7300 people so…yeah. It’s full of Oompa Loompas.

Wait...no honey? So confused.

Limited Edition Lindt Beary Sweet Truffles have no honey but rather are milk chocolate with a creamy sweet milk filling. Yeah, because when I think bears, I think milk… no, I mean, I think of bears dipping thier paws into pots of milk… no, wait.  WHAT’S WITH THE  BEAR, LINDT? (And what’s with the red ribbon around the bear’s neck? Looks kinky…yikes).

You know, I looked on the website, and it’s not like the bear is a logo or anything of Lindt’s either. I’m so confused.

Creamy sweet milk?

“The milk chocolate shell and creamy sweet milk filling will remind of your favorite Holiday memories and take you back to your warmest thoughts.” There are so many things wrong with this sentence. First, you’re missing a “you” in between the words “remind” and “of.” Second, my childhood was not filled with memories of creamy sweet milk – ugh. And why is Holiday capitalized? #persnickety

Still not gettin’ the bear motif, but whatever.

Christmas ornament

Bears Bears everywhere!

Limited Edition Lindt Beary Sweet Truffles ARE wrapped in a very pretty wrapper though, and I like the red and gold mix – makes you want to eat it.

Plug the hole

Lindt truffles, unlike the Godiva ones, have this weird knob at one spot on the chocolate sphere, which is clearly where they pump the filling in.  Godiva goes the “fill each half of a sphere and put ’em together” method.

Mmmmmm.....milky

The taste of these Limited Edition Lindt Beary Sweet Truffles? I tried the Milk Chocolate by itself – very sweet, very rich, no darkness at all, pretty standard.  I tried the inner white cream by itself – firm texture, like a solid butter, and very sweet as well.  To be quite frank, the inside just tasted like white chocolate – I tried to see if I got that sweet milk taste, which I guess it KIND of tasted like Condensed Milk, but really all I tasted was white chocolate.

Together? Definitely a tasty tasty chocolate truffle treat, but there was nothing special about it to me… All it tasted like was chocolate.  And that was it! Just a sweet, creamy chocolate – certainly no wow in it for me, and nothing that screamed childhood holiday memories.

So, a VERY good product, Lindt – but I probably wouldn’t go out of my way to buy these again.

Any thoughts? Tell me in the comments below or hit me on Twitter @junkfoodguy or on my Facebook Page.

Sincerely, Junk Food Guy