Junk Food Nation, Awkward Mondays will return tomorrow.  Today is Christmas Day Observed, a federal holiday which everyone enjoys.  Having Christmas on a weekend means I get Monday off too? Well, this is the most wonderful time of the year, isn’t it?

What will you do on your Christmas Day Observed?  Eat more cookies? Return all those gifts you hate? Me, I’m going to give you my final review of holiday candy I’ve seen.  Presenting to you: the Final Holiday Candy Extravaganza of the Year!

SweeTart Gummies

I love Sweet Tarts, and I can only imagine these gummy versions of the popular candy taste just like Sour Gummy Worms.  With stocking and tree shapes, this candy really took so little effort to put out, didn’t it, Wonka? And is it Sweet Tarts, or SweeTarts? The more I look at the package, the more I realize I don’t know the right answer.

SweeTarts Merry Mix

It’s possible that Wonka put even less effort into making this SweetTarts Merry Mix. This is literally jusy SweetTarts candy shaped like trees, bells and snowmen. I’m guessing come Easter there will be an Easter Mix featuring SweeTarts shaped like bunnies and eggs. Way to think outside the box, Wonka! So much for your glass elevator of progress. Adding snowflakes to the bag doesn’t help.

No effort Mike & Ikes

Of course, in the effort department, these Mike & Ikes and Hot Tamales aren’t even shaped differently – they just have holiday boxes.  I wanna know what the board meeting discussing this was like: “Hey should we shape our candies like trees and bells for the holidays?” “Who do you we are, SweeTarts? Nah, just throw some ink and snowflakes on the box and be done with it.  Merry effing Christmas.”

Santa Flavored Bubble Tape

MMMMMMM tastes just like the Santa my mom used to make…in gum form!

Cherry Cordial M & Ms

Cherry Cordial M&Ms are probably damn good, and I admit I haven’t tried them.  I wanted to post a picture of these here, however, because this cartoon M&M on the package looks somehow inappropriate.  Why is he leering at me like that? This isn’t Valentine’s Day – Why are you trying to seduce me, M&M?  Take your crazy elf shoes and go home. (More faded snowflakes on the bag… such a visual holiday crutch).

Frosty Nerds?

Another victim of “Let’s not change the candy, but just repaint the box…and be sure to add some snowflakes on there!” Lame.  And why are BOTH flavors “& punch?” Makes me think that both “flavors” of these nerds are going to taste exactly the same. Just like…

These truffles are EXACTLY THE SAME

Remember the Beary Sweet Truffles I reviewed? Imagine my surprise when I saw almost the exact same truffle being marketed as another “flavor” — snowman flavor, apparently.  I have no doubt that these two things tasted exactly the same. The snowflakes on the bag don’t change the flavor inside, Lindt.

Truffle Mix

This final picture I just wanted to put in for the hell of it.  What essentially is just a grab bag of the three basic truffles that Godiva morphs into a holiday mix when you wrap them in red, green, and white and put them in a red bag.  Very clever, Godiva.

Back to normal reviews tomorrow, folks!  Enjoy your remaining day off!

Any thoughts? Tell me in the comments below or hit me on Twitter @junkfoodguy or on my Facebook Page.

Sincerely, Junk Food Guy