Junk Food Nation, today is New Year’s Eve.  And I hate New Year’s Eve.  No, I am not talking about the recent movie New Year’s Eve starring a Ashton Kutcher (although THAT movie looks simply atrocious).  No, I mean the holiday.  I don’t even mean that it’s my “least favorite” holiday. I just flat out really do not like this holiday. Why? Simple:

1) It’s not a holiday you can celebrate any other time but at midnight between Dec. 31 and Jan. 1.  Other holidays you can spread out – college roommates have “early Thanksgiving dinners” together.  Christmas parties go all December long. Fourth of July BBQs happen before, during, and after July 4th.  But no one, and I mean NO ONE, is ever suggesting “Hey, let’s all count down to midnight and drink champagne on January 3rd!!! WOOOOOO!” Nope, NYE is constrained to that singular moment each year.  Which dovetails into the second reason I hate NYE…

2) It forces you to pick amongst your friends.  Because you can only celebrate NYE at one specific time, you’re forced to choose WHO you want to count down with. If you have a loved one, it’s an easy decision.  Otherwise? If you have three or four friends EACH having separate parties? You’re forced to tell one friend “Um…yeah.  I wanna celebrate the New Year with…these other people.  Sorry.”  Which is a harsh thing to say!  If you go to one party and LEAVE at 11:00 to ring in the New Year at another party? Host of Party 1 now think you’re a douche who only wanted the free food and booze. Which, of course, is true.

More after the jump.  Today’s junk food: Limited Edition Terra Cinnamon Spice Sweet Potato Chips!

The Money Shot

Terra, didn’t you just make Nutmeg Sweet Potato Chips?  And now you have Limited Edition Terra Cinnamon Spice Sweet Potato Chips?  What the hell – are these basically the same chip but in two different bags? I’m so confused.

First nutmeg now cinnamon?

Now, before you ask – yes, I realize nutmeg and cinnamon are not the same thing.  And I DO know that they taste different.  But…Terra devotes two different chip lines to these spices?  One bag green, one bag red?

No ruby, just orange

Are there people walking down the Whole Foods aisle, thinking, “I want sweet potato chips with a little flair…Cinnamon Spice chips…sigh, if ONLY they made them with nutmeg instead.”

Snowflakes!

AHAH!  A better picture of the holiday snowflakes that Terra adorned their limited edition seasonal flavor chip bags with.  My iPhone camera ISN’T a piece of sh*t after all!

Sprinkled with a hint of holiday cinnamon spice, eh?

“New holiday classic” is an oxymoron.  And I’m going to serve sweet potato chips at my most elegant occasions? I don’t really feel like these fit in with black tie…but then again, I don’t throw a lot of black tie events. Maybe I would serve these.  And Hell, maybe I’ll have Doritos at my wedding!

Thin cut

Golden orange

Terra formed

Look, let’s get right to the taste of these Limited Edition Terra Cinnamon Spice Sweet Potato Chips, shall we? I took a big stack of sweet potato chips and crunched.  And DUDE.  These were SWEEEEET.

These tasted very different than the Nutmeg Spice Sweet Potato Chips, and not in a good way. Although these chips were not covered in powdered sugar, it’s clear someone at Terra wanted to make sure these tasted very different than the Nutmeg Spice chips and vocalized, “Hey let’s just soak these in sugar water!”

These chips were almost too sweet to even be considered savory.  The cinnamon taste was there VERY slightly, but what these mostly tasted like was sugar.  Imagine those Thanksgiving sweet potatoes that are covered in marshmallows and baked? That’s how sweet these were. So if you LIKE those, you might enjoy these.

Me? I really didn’t find these appetizing.  I like sweet potatoes because you get both sweet and savory. These were just sweet.  They only slightly tasted of cinnamon, the sugary taste didn’t drown the sweet potato taste, but sat on top of it without tasting like it was enhancing it at all.  No, Terra.  No.

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3) NYE parties suck! And your options are usually limited – go to a restaurant or bar and pay $100 for a forced party, or go to one of four-five house parties which will each have only four-five people at them.  There’s no real activity involved (I don’t count drinking, which can happen at Christmas, Halloween, or Labor Day) except counting. At least with Easter you get to decorate eggs.  On NYE you get to clean up red solo cups.

4) Pressure to have a good time.  NYE is just a day out of the year.  It’s a completely secular holiday which has no real sentimental meaning.  Why then are we so stressed that this countdown, these last minutes, need to be JUST RIGHT or AMAZING?  Like if you’re not on a trapeze having three way sex and drinking a bottle of tequila that’s on fire RIGHT at the stroke of midnight, then you’re not “celebrating it right.”  It’s ridiculous and an added stress that I think is unnecessary.

….Ok, I realize that I sound like a curmudgeon when I talk about NYE this way.  Yes, I realize people like to use it as a benchmark between old and new.  Yes, I know it DOES mean something to some people (New Year’s babies, for example).  And I personally HAVE had good NYE experiences.  I’ve been to great parties, have celebrated with good friends, have done the whole blackout drunk thing, and have felt each of the four things I described at one time or another.

One of these years, I’ll find the right combo, and NYE will be memorable. I AM looking forward to 2012, and will be toasting that happening at midnight tonight.

So be responsible tonight kids.  Don’t drink too much on that trapeze.

Thoughts?  Tell me in the comments below or hit me on Twitter @junkfoodguy or on my Facebook Page.

Sincerely, Junk Food Guy