Junk Food Nation, it’s the day of the Conference Championships!  And…well, my predictions were totally off last week on the NFC side…along with everyone else in America.  Still, as the playoffs continue, every single pundit in America is predicting potential Super Bowl Matchups.  Each one comes with baggage:

1)      RAVENS AND NINERS: The Harbaugh vs. Harbaugh matchup, Cain vs. Abel, the “Har-bowl.” Man, do I NOT want to see this.  We’d be subjected to endless montages of the brothers when they were younger, interviews of one brother against the other, etc. etc.  Here’s a thought: no one cares. Finding out “which brother is better” is a ridiculous goal.

2)      PATRIOTS AND GIANTS: Oh god, can we please not relive the Giants Super Bowl win over the Pats?  This matchup guarantees several angles of David Tyree’s helmet catch in replayed footage, and would force talking heads to discuss whether this is a “revenge” game for the Pats.  You know what’s annoying? Hearing Boston and LA fans discuss the NBA Finals of 2008 and 2010. This would be even more annoying.

3)      GIANTS AND RAVENS: Sure it was over 10 years ago, but I also have no interest in reliving that famous Trent Dilfer vs. Kerry Collins bowl where the Ravens defense decided to just go monkey poo on the Giants’ collective face. This matchup would force analysts to compare teams now to the teams then. I have the conclusion: there is no correlation.  But you can bet ESPN will try to find one.

4)      NINERS AND PATRIOTS: Finally, the only non-offensive pairing I can think of, and the likely one, IMO.

After the jump, I’ll make my picks and explain why I think the result will be what it is.  Today’s junk food: Pringles Gametime Flavors! Original Hot Sauce & French Onion Dip!

When I saw these Pringles in my local Walmart, I could only think of one thing: “WHAT TIME IS IT?” “GAME TIME!” But seriously, gotta give credit to Pringles for…coming out with these “pigskin flavors” right as the NFL season is about to end. Good timing, Proctor and Gamble.

Pringles Gametime Flavors are around for a limited time only! And not listed on the website, which isn’t surprising, considering that the Pringles site is still pimping out summertime themes.

Ok, let’s start with the Hot Sauce flavor.  I like the design of the can – football surface texture painted on the can.  The laces of the football are a nice touch too.

What IS Original Hot Sauce? Is this gonna be more like Frank’s Hot Sauce, or like Tabasco? Inquiring tongues want to know.

Mixed motifs – football for the “Game Time,” and flames for the “HOT” sauce.  Blunt, but I like it.

Ingredients listed and pictured here for your approval.

Pringles Original Hot Sauce look pretty standard – just a good Pringles chip covered in orange. As you can see also in the photo below, up close every single crevice of the chip is doused in orange. I like that. A lot.

We all know what Pringles taste like, so let’s get right to the powder taste: VERY GOOD. Basically a cross between Frank’s Red Hot and Tabasco sauce!  Nice and tangy, with a good buffalo taste.  Mild but noticeable burn in the powder itself.  And pretty salty, which married the spicy, the sour and the potato chip all together.  For a chip called Original Hot Sauce, and not pretending necessarily to be buffalo sauce or the like, this was very tasty.  Thumbs up, Pringles.

Pringles French Onion Dip chips were up next.  Not sure about the football motif here – I get the texture and the laces, but the can IS LIME EFFING GREEN. I mean, when’s the last time you’d seen a lime green ball?  In the Nerf store?

I GUESS french onion dip is sort of related to football.  I guess. I mean, dip is a party food, and Super Bowls lead to Super Bowl parties…but still.  Not sure I would instantly think “FRENCH ONION DIP, SON!” when I was discussing the Super Bowl.

So these are the ingredients that make up French Onion Dip, huh? …looks very similar to regular Sour Cream and Onion, no?

Oh…..k, I guess there IS French Onion powder on here. Which …is…invisible, apparently.

Well, these chips don’t LOOK like much.  Not even green specks like Sour Cream and Onion chips have.  Maybe they’ll taste better.

Crunch crunch….sigh, nope. These taste just like regular Sour Cream and Onion chips.  Which, incidentally, is one of my favorite flavors, but why market these as something different?  Just to make a buck off the Game Time label?  Disappointing, Pringles.  Lack of imagination. I won’t be buying these again.

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RAVENS @ PATRIOTS: Let me say one thing about the Ravens last Sunday. They didn’t look good.  They took advantage of mistakes made by TJ Yates, but TJ Yates is NOT Tom Brady.  The Texans committed some awful turnovers and that allowed Baltimore to get a cushion…and they were STILL only up by a touchdown at the half.  Not a particularly strong performance by the Ravens’ offense.  They were going up against the #2 ranked defense in the league, though, so I give them a little break…and they did still win.  I think Joe Flacco and Ray Rice will have greater success carving the NE defense up.

That said, I think the Patriots will have equal success against that vaunted Ravens D.  Look, Denver’s D was good but inexperienced.  They got to Brady quickly, but Brady got to Gronkowski quickly, and Denver had no answer.  Baltimore will know how to trap Gronk more. If Baltimore plays zone defense against New England, however, Tom Brady will PICK THEM APART with short pass after short pass after short pass.

The X-Factor here, for me, is Aaron Hernandez.  Everyone on Baltimore will be focused on covering Gronk and Welker, and guys like Hernandez and Woodhead will take advantage.  Very different than New England only focusing on Ray Rice.

One wrinkle: according to my sources, Baltimore is 7-0 against playoff teams this year.  New England only beat one playoff team during the season: Denver.  Oof – that’s not good.

I think in the end, PATRIOTS take it because they will win the race.  I expect some ball control on Baltimore’s part, and it’ll come down to execution, which Brady is perfect at and Flacco is ok at.

NYG @ SF: One thing that I thought while watching the Saints-Niners game was: HOLY SHIT the Niners hit hard.  Just look at that first Pierre Thomas fumble: it was the result of Thomas taking the handoff, rushing up the right side and colliding with a Niners player LOUDLY, and then crumpling to the ground.  I’d never seen a player collapse like that. From then on, I knew the Saints were in trouble.  That said, it took three early turnovers by the Saints to put the Niners up 17-0.  And they STILL basically eeked out the win over New Orleans by some incredible last minute heroics by Alex Smith (and Vernon Davis).  If the Saints hadn’t committed the early turnovers, we’d be talking about New Orleans right now…but the Saints lost.

Looking at the Giants, they played well – like the Niners, they always go for the strip of the ball with each tackle, and they hit hard.  When I think back to the GB-NYG game, do I think the Giants won it, or the Packers lost it?  Rodgers wasn’t sharp, but the Giants took him off his game.  Those dropped passes by Green Bay could’ve made a big difference. Essentially, despite the final score, I think the Giants stole one as well.

So you have two teams who everything went right for in the NFC Championship – and you know what? That’s how it happens. I’m not bitter – good teams know how to take advantage of their opponents’ mistakes.  So in deciding who I think will be more mistake prone in this game, there’s lots of factors.  Will we get Elite Eli, or several false start Eli? Will Frank Gore be a goat or a god? Will Alex Smith continue his consistent streak? Will Tom Coughlin explode? And which defense will pressure the QB more?

In the end I’m going with the NINERS and here’s why. Both the Niners and Giants have tough playing defenses that go for the turnover, but statistically, in terms of pts-allowed and yds-allowed, the Niners were way better over the regular season.  And the Giants haven’t PLAYED a defense this good yet. In the regular season or postseason, whenever the Giants have played a top 10 defense in terms of pts-allowed, they either lost or won by 3 pts.  Oh and they lost to SF at home by a TD.

Therefore, I think SF will win as long as they don’t fall behind. They won the race against NO, and the NY Giants aren’t are the Saints in terms of offense – but they are pretty good.  I give the Niners a SLIGHT edge…I’d say SF wins 52% of the time.

Thoughts? Tell me in the comments below or hit me on Twitter @junkfoodguy or on my Facebook Page. Happy Football Sunday!

Sincerely, Junk Food Guy