Junk Food Nation, happy Monday to ya. I had this whole post conceptually planned and partially written, and I wasn’t sure whether to post it in light of the Aurora, Colorado tragedy. I think its OK, but my advance apologies to anyone if it offends in light of recent events. Or maybe the post is entirely innocuous and I’m over thinking it.  You be the judge.

Over the weekend, I got the chance to see the Dark Knight Rises. Being in DC, I had the benefit of seeing it on an actual IMAX screen, something only possible at one of the three Smithsonian Museums with IMAX theaters inside – the Natural History Museum, the UDVAR, and the Air & Space Museum.  While in line, I got to see a convergence of every single type of Batman fan out there.  Here are the many levels of Batman fandom:

LEVEL 1 – NO COSTUME, NO INDICATION THAT YOU EVEN LIKE BATMAN: If you’re just going to the movie, wearing normal clothes, you’re this level. You’re trying broadcast: “Shyyeah…I wanna WATCH the movie, but I don’t wanna be IN it.  Batman’s OK.” Basically, you’re trying to pretend you’re too cool for the schtick of it all, OR that you’re too disorganized to come up with something truly fan-geeky.  Other fans watching you are thinking, “N00b.”

Woops, I forgot LEVEL 0 – GIRLFRIEND/BOYFRIEND OF LEVEL 1 PERSON: You say things like, “I heard it got good reviews.” And the box office appreciates your tasty money.

LEVEL 2 – BATMAN T-SHIRT WITH MICHAEL KEATON LOGO: You’re into the movie like a hipster is into the movie. “Shyyeah…I wanna WATCH the movie, and I’m wearing this faded Batman logo T-shirt I bought at Target ironically (?)” This is also the level you’re at if you’re wearing a shirt with an old Adam West Batman photo on it.  You’re thinking, “So cool, right?” Others: “Nope.”

LEVEL 3 – NO SYMBOLIC WEAR, BUT CLEAR KNOWLEDGE OF COMIC BOOKS: What, you can name all different iterations of Robin, but you DON’T have a Batman T-shirt?  And you call yourself a fan…

LEVEL 4 – BATMAN T-SHIRT WITH ACTUAL COMIC CHARACTER ON IT, OR ANY RELATION TO CURRENT CHRISTOPHER NOLAN SERIES: OK, NOW we’re starting to dig in. You’re clearly a comic book fan, and/or REALLY into the movies. You wear these T-shirts like they are rock ‘n roll concert T-shirts, which is a whole different topic entirely.  You say things like, “Whaddya mean, you’ve never heard of Bane??” You generally annoy people all around you while waiting in line for the movie.

LEVEL 5 – WATCHING THE FIRST TWO MOVIES IN LINE WHILE WAITING FOR THE MOVIE: I only throw this in there because when I went to my own viewing of the Dark Knight Rises on Saturday night, there was a group who was camped out at the beginning of the EXTREMELY LONG LINE, all chillin’ on the ground watching Batman Begins on a laptop.  Now THAT’S dedication…or something.

LEVEL 6 – FULL COSTUME, JUST HAPPY TO BE THERE: This level is no surprise – people who dress up are going to be ever present at any fan-geeky movie.  I salute these people.  They’re wearing full Batman regalia and the couldn’t be happier.  You go, …er… “Bruce.” Heh heh, see what I did there? Fist bump it.

LEVEL 7 – FULL COSTUME, AND IN FULL CHARACTER: Ok, now you’re a complete weirdo. If you’re dressed like Two-Face flipping a coin to decide between Whoppers or Junior Mints, take a step back and breathe.

Suffice it to say, I’ve been almost every level of fan described above before for other movies, with the exception of Level 7.  Which level are you?

Today’s junk food: Limited Time Only – Frank’s Red Hot Buffalo Wing Pringles & Frank’s Red Hot Chili ‘n Lime Pringles!

Walmart, you’ve done it again.  I’m walking through the aisles when I see this big honkin’ display with these Pringles, Frank’s Red Hot Buffalo Wing Pringles & Franks’ Red Hot Chili ‘n Lime Pringles displayed in full glory.  My first thought is, FRANK’S RED HOT!  I LOVE FRANK’S. I put that shit on everything.  My second thought was skepticism.  After trying so many Buffalo Wing-flavored snacks, how would these hold up? ESPECIALLY if they are invoking the Frank’s name?  Well, here we go…

The problem with these Frank’s Red Hot Buffalo Wing Pringles – TOO SALTY. I know its a potato chip, but still.  I’ve had other buffalo-related snacks which REALLY hit the buffalo mark well.  And I love Frank’s Red Hot. But as soon as I started to chew these Pringles, I knew the salt factor would ruin the flavor.

I expected that the first taste I would get would be the tang of Frank’s Red Hot, but that’s not what I got. The buffalo flavor was there – don’t get me wrong.  But sooo muted.  Instead the first flavor I got was sodium.  And I don’t get it – Pringles has done well with Hot Sauce, Buffalo Wing flavored chips before….why are these so off?  Very salty tasting, and the Frank’s flavor was really muted.  Am I saying I expected Pringles to hit me over the head with Frank’s flavor? THAT’S EXACTLY WHAT I’M SAYING.

Here’s a weird note: When I took a chip and just licked the powder by itself, I definitely got a HUGE buffalo zing – lots of tang, lots of buffalo flavor – but still lots of sodium saltiness.  I dunno – I really do think the salt unbalanced any Frank’s flavor benefit.  Sad.

Even the Ruffles Molten Hot Wings Chips were more successful than these – those Ruffles essentially tasted like chips dipped in buffalo sauce.  These just didn’t work for me.

Look, I’ll just admit it.  I will never be a chili and lime fan on junk food.  In real food, I love chili flavors and I love the squeeze of a fresh lime on top. But in processed food the taste of artificial lime just turns my stomach. It just does.  You can already see where I’m going with these Frank’s Red Hot Chili ‘n Lime Pringles, can’t you?

Like the Pepperidge Farm Jingos and the Chile Limon Doritos Dinamitas, these chips were not my favorite – though I will say that the chile and lime flavor worked better here than on the other two junk foods mentioned.  On first chew, I immediately got a spicy and VERY artificial citrus flavor.  The lime taste was really strong and very fake tasting.  The chili (bolstered no doubt by the salt) did settle in nicely in the background, the savory spiciness providing a decent backdrop to anchor the lime.  In other words, the lime did not overwhelm the other flavor…but that’s because the both flavors were pretty strong to begin with. I’ve never had Frank’s chili and lime sauce, so I’m unable to speak on how close these were in taste.

Unlike the earlier Frank’s version, these chips weren’t short of flavor – it’s just not a flavor I like.  Many of you out there will like these though – I brought the Chile and Lime Jingos to my office and everyone LOVED them, so what do I know?

All and all, very sad, since I love Frank’s Red Hot.  Still, I think some of you will dig these, even if I didn’t.

PURCHASED AT: Walmart

COST: $1.50 each, on sale

Thoughts? Please comment below (I always reply) or hit me up on Twitter @junkfoodguy or LIKE my Facebook Page and message me there. Also, you can always email me at junkfoodguy@junkfoodguy.com. Let’s hang out.

Sincerely,

Junk Food Guy