Junk Food Nation, recently I had two wisdom teeth taken out.  Yes, I’m a grown adult, but for some reason, I never had these teeth removed.  They were alllll the way back in the roof of my mouth, and had already grown out.  Every time I would get a teeth cleaning, my dentist would say, “You should really get those yanked.  Your teeth are fine but those back two teeth are stained and full of cavities.  I’m not going to fill them because you should just get those teeth pulled.” Um, thanks, Doc.

I was scared.  I had had two bottom wisdom teeth taken out when I was in high school, and it was a horrifying experience.  Maybe I am exaggerating, I felt like my home town dentist didn’t wait for the Novocaine to set and just went in and started yanking!!!!  THE HORROR.

“Ow, that hurts.”

“No, it’s just pressure.” *YANK YANK YANK*

“NO NO! IT HURTS!”

“NO IT’S JUST PRESSURE” *YANK YANK CRACK YANK*

Of course, I’m probably imagining things. But naturally, I was nervous this time around.  Here I am, a grown man, and when they say, “Ok, Eric, we’re ready for you” and open the door to the back hallway of the office, I get HUGE fight-or-flight syndrome and want to run away screaming.

But in I went, and they yanked those puppies out.  I ate gingerly for a few days – and you never noticed, did you, Junk Food Nation?  No, not even two gaps in my mouth could stop me from enjoying processed junk food.  This is what I do for you.

Do you have any teeth-pulling horror stories? Share them below.

Today’s junk food: Lay’s Spanish Tomato Tango Potato Chips!

Ohhhh yes, Junk Food Nation.  It’s rare that I jump for joy in the grocery store…wait, no it’s not, I do it all the time at the grocery, who am I kidding?  Well, I was walking down the South Asian aisle of my Asian grocery, and I found these: Lay’s Spanish Tomato Tango Potato Chips.  And if you think I didn’t jump and clack my heels when I saw this bag of Spanish Tomato Tango chips….

Why did I get so excited?  Foreign versions of US chips.  I love it, conceptually.  If you have Lay’s Chips that taste like Vegemite – bring it on!

Lay’s Spanish Tomato Tango Potato Chips come in a share pack!  Not sure what this means, because this is a regular snack size bag of chips.  If you think I’m sharing these approx. thirty chips with you, you have another thing coming – I will stab you with a spoon.

Lay’s Spanish Tomato Tango Potato Chips are made by Frito-Lay India. I’m not really sure what flavor i expect these to be.  On the front of the bag, you see a tomato, a flask of oil, and it looked like some cinnamon sticks and cloves.  Also, although you can’t see it, the flask of oil had an asterisk next to it.  I’m……not sure why. I couldn’t find the asterisk explanation anywhere.  Awesome.  Not sure exactly what the Spanish Tango is – Youtube doesn’t help clarify the issue.

Frito-Lay India had/has a promotion called “Be Dillogical.” Dil, in Hindi, means Heart.  They explain the promotion to mean: “What Lay’s, with its melt in the mouth simple taste, urges you to do is stop listening to your head so much and tune into your heart instead. In other words – ‘Be a little dillogical.”

Honestly, that’s a pretty cool promo concept.  It combos both English and Hindi and has a reasonable albeit contrived meaning that can be used to sell bags of fried chips.  I like it.  Good work, Frito-Lay India!

Whoa.  I didn’t expect to see a hunk of man meat on the back of this bag of Lay’s Spanish Tomato Tango Potato Chips. And I find the suggestion hilarious: Feeling flirty? Take some time out for romance…and stuff these fried potatoes into the mouth of your spouse.  Mmmmmm sexy.

Yeah…Don’t know what to do with this. How many calories are in this bag? This was a 61 gram bag….so…331 calories?  Can I get someone to check my math on that?

Lay’s Spanish Tomato Tango Potato Chips contain edible vegetable oil.  Well, thank goodness for that/  Also, the spice profile (Capsicum, Garlic, Pepper, Ginger, Clove, Cinnamon) is REALLY interesting.  I can’t wait to taste these.

Lay’s Spanish Tomato Tango Potato Chips look exactly like Ruffles and smelled…well, sort of like Ketchup. But not like Lay’s Spicy Ketchup chips…these definitely had other spices in the air.  I smelled cinnamon and clove, and it sort of came off like a curry spice.  Maybe like a Tikka Masala…

I crunched several of these Lay’s Spanish Tomato Tango Potato Chips, and they were pretty good.  They were bursting with flavor.  My first impression of these WAS that they tasted like ketchup chips – the tomato flavor used was REALLY sweet and tangy – honestly it was almost like these chips were coated in Chef Boyardee-like tomato sauce.  But then as I chewed, more flavors came out – clove flavor lead the way. It emerged from the tomato base and stayed strong as the major flavor in the aftertaste.

Overall the flavor of these Lay’s Spanish Tomato Tango Potato Chips was tangy and bold, with a TINY bit of spice, and lots of tomato and clove flavor. Small notes of ginger and cinnamon. Standard potato chip crunch that we all love an expect from Lay’s potato chips (or Ruffles).

All in all, I really enjoyed these.  I could see myself going out of my way and buying these again. Good work, Frito-Lay India!

PURCHASED AT: Asian Grocery (Lotte food store)

COST: $1.29

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Sincerely,

Junk Food Guy