Junk Food Nation, you’ll notice that I didn’t post anything yesterday.  My apologies – yesterday was the infamous holiday travel day, that day of transition between real life and holiday life, and time just wasn’t on my side.

I’m back today, however, and it’s another Football Sunday!  I love Week 16 Football…at this point, so many playoff races are soooo close.  The NFC East is one race I’m especially concentrating on…three teams tied for first place?  Something’s gotta give.

Last week I went 10-6, bringing my season total to 139-84-1.  Two weeks left!  Let’s go:

ATL over DET: Not a hard pick, even with the game already over.  Detroit has indeed gone off the rails.

NO over DAL: Dallas needs a win, but after NO scored 41 on TB last week, anything could happen.

GB over TEN: TEN barely beat the lowly jets last week.  GB will SMOKE this team.

INDY over KC: INDY gets back on track and clinches this week with a victory over the Chiefs.

BUFFALO over MIA: CMON now.  Let’s end with a couple of wins, my Bills!

SD over NYJ: The Jets are a complete disaster.  COMPLETE DISASTER.  Even more than Norv Turner’s face.

WAS over PHI: Trap game? Let’s hope not.  I feel the Redskins momentum building…but who will start? Captain Kirk or Robert Three Stripes?

CINCY over PITT: Gutsy win last week over Dallas, but I don’t think Pittsburgh is ready to overtake the Bengals, even at home. Cincy clinches the playoffs this week.

TB over STL: TB scoring zero points? Not gonna happen.

CAR over OAK: Carolina beat down an awful SD team last week.  And Oakland is ostensibly worse than SD.  You do the math.

NE over JAX: Lock of the week.  Jags are looking to 2013 and Tebow Time.

HOU over MINN: Just a quick note: Adrian Peterson should be MVP.  And Houston locks up home field throughout the playoffs with this win.

DEN over CLE: Peyton Manning will not be denied!  Broncos clinch this week.

CHI over ARZ: My Super Bowl Pick of Houston vs. Chicago is looking worse and worse as the star over the Bears is fading quickly.  If the playoffs started today, they’d be OUT.  BOOOO.  Meanwhile Arizona is barely winning games too.  Chicago needs this.

BAL over NYG: REMATCH SUPER BOWL XXXV.  Sort of.  Except since then, the Giants have won two more and the Ravens have none.  Regardless, Baltimore needs this to fall even further in the standings, although the Giants need this to keep up with the NFC East race.  Hmmmmmm tough call.  Closest game of the week? I say Ravens pull it out at home by a nose.

SEA over SF: Who knew that THIS would be an exciting matchup at the beginning of the year? Colin K. vs. uber rookie Russell Wilson?  I still think the Niners are a better team, but Seattle is TOUGH at home.

Enjoy this holiday slate of pigskin, Junk Food Nation!

Today’s junk food: Banana Kick Banana Snack!

Oh, Nongshim, ye of octopus chip and fried chicken drumstick snack fame. How did I know that you’d grace me with another effing nutso snack for me to try?  Banana Kick Banana Snack?? You do realize that from the front wrapper, this looks exactly like banana flavored Cheetos, don’t you? Yes?

“With artificial flavor.” YEAH. NO KIDDING.

“Bad Dates.” Anyone get that reference?

So, if this IS a “Banana Kick” Banana Snack, why is the banana character doing some sort of parade step here? Or Broadway-flair-kick-out-arm-raised-punch-ball-chain-spirit-fingers!!!!!!!!!!!  Not that I’d know anything about that…

For something that usually provides great assistance to digestion, the lack of dietary fiber in this Banana Kick Banana Snack is upsetting.

Banana Kick Banana Snack may contain shellfish, egg, and peanut? Let me step over here and lose my lunch briefly…

I opened up this Banana Kick Banana Snack, and it INDEED LOOKED LIKE CHEETOS CHEESE PUFFS!!!!! GAAAH!!!

Not only that, but a STRONG odor of artificial, too-banana-y smell came tumbling out.  WOW.  These were really strange.  I’m scared to eat them, but this is what I do for you, Junk Food Nation…

Crunch crunch crunch.  Yikes.  This Banana Kick Banana Snack was soooooooooooooo strange.  I went through a variety of emotions while eating it. Sadness, happiness, anger, distraught, bargaining, acceptance, swallow.  Yep.

When I first put one of these curls into my mouth, I noticed the immediate tangy sweetness of the fake banana flavor.  Unmistakable.  It was similar to the banana like flavor of Runts candy…so banana-y it was almost soapy.

Then as I crunched, the flavor GREW, if possible.  The consistency of the curl was exactly like Cheetos – crunchy, light, corn flavored.  But the outside had a weird-candy-like banana glaze.  I definitely felt like when my teeth crunched down, my opposing teeth had to bite through a tiny layer of something candied/glazed.

So there I sat, chewing crunchy banana flavored corn puff/curls.  It tasted exactly like you think it would.  And strangely enough, the overall flavor really reminded me of a crunchy version of Circus Peanuts – you know, those Styrofoam-like marshmallow candies? Gross. Don’t buy these.

PURCHASED AT: Asian Grocery!

COST: $1.50 on sale

Thoughts? Please comment below (I always reply) or hit me up on Twitter @junkfoodguy or LIKE my Facebook Page and message me there. Also, you can always email me at junkfoodguy@junkfoodguy.com. Let’s hang out.

Sincerely,

Junk Food Guy