Review: Doritos Inferno & Junkfoodguy.com in 2013
Junk Food Nation, let’s get down to brass tacks. Could I use an more old-timey sounding phrase, by the way? Let’s have a real discussion here.
In 2013, I want to do more with this blog. You all have been such loyal readers, and I appreciate everyone’s comments and contributions. I’ve had guest bloggers, I’ve had companies send me stuff, I’ve been able to visit food shows, meet really awesome people – all because of this blog. But I’ll be honest – I WANT MORE.
I’ll admit – I could be quite content churning out daily blog posts to you all, sampling foods into my elder years, and compiling a online database of every single snack food, junk food, fast food out there. But when I started this venture, I had more goals in mind. And it’s time, as I pass the 1.5 year mark, to start working towards those goals.
Time has always been my enemy. Those who follow me closely on Twitter know that my day job, that of an attorney, is a worthwhile gig that puts (junk) food on the table and pays the mortgage. With the long hours I slug at work, add to that time spent with the relatives, the Junk Food Gal, working out, cooking, and nightly blogging – and I have just enough time to MAYBE catch a movie, MAYBE attend a happy hour. And that leaves NO time for this blog to grow beyond just a daily blog post.
So, starting RIGHT NOW, (time to rip the BandAid) this blog is no longer a guaranteed daily blog. I KNOW I KNOW. Stop yelling at me. I don’t like it either, but 2013 is a year of reckoning, and I had to face facts – if I wanted to work on propelling the Junk Food Guy brand to the next level, I needed time to do that.
The plan: New blog posts every Monday, Wednesday, Friday, for sure. And what happens on Tuesdays, Thursdays, and weekends? Up in the air – there are some days I might throw something up, and some days I won’t.But each week, there will be a MINIMUM of three blog posts, a MAXIMUM of seven. Got it?
How long with this reduced blogging schedule last? We’ll see. If I can get back to dailies, I will. And you’ll know when that happens.
Today’s junk food: Doritos Inferno!
Doritos Inferno: As seen at OXXO!
Doritos Inferno was the first bag of chips I saw in Mexico that made my jaw drop. NEW DORITOS!!! WOOHOO!!! I was super excited.
Doritos Inferno: The Money Shot
I mean, WHAT could Doritos Inferno BE? When I open the bag, do my hands like on fire? When I place a chip in my mouth, does my tongue ignite?
Unsurprisingly, I got very little information from this commercial:
En Fuego
WARNING
Doritos Inferno had the look, however. Great Doritos font with flame all over the place. And then in very simple letters, like a warning on the side of some hazardous chemical container: INFERNO. Nice.
Um, Google Translate?
Google Translate translates this wording on these Doritos Inferno chips as: “nixtamalized corn chips and cheese flavored sauce.” Not sure what nixtamalized means…BUT IT SOUNDS TASTY.
New…
More Google Translate!
This says, according to Google Translate: “Enjoy her seductive spicy cheese flavor prohibited descends.” Ok, that kind of makes sense. From the commercial and this artwork to the words themselves…I have to admit, I don’t really understand the mixed motif of FIRE with quasi-goth-tribal-dark-place-evil. Not sure how the two got on the same bag.
In case anyone cares
Doritos Inferno has all the things you want…nixtamalized.
Doritos Inferno
When I opened up a bag of these Doritos Inferno, I was immediately stunned by how RED all the chips were. I mean, I know some of the other flavors of Doritos I’ve eaten have been blasted with flavor powder…but these? These were CAKED with it, seemingly! Wow.
These Doritos Inferno came with a tiny salsa pack inside, which I found cute. Tasted basically like Tapatio, provided so you could squirt some moisture onto the chips if you wanted to.
I crunched into these chips, expecting spicy. Expecting the INFERNO to hit me.
Doritos Inferno
But I was sorely disappointed. These Doritos Inferno chips were no Inferno – they weren’t even a little forest fire. No, these chips were hardly spicy – at all! Honestly, these just tasted like SUPER cheesy Doritos with a bit more tomato powder to add a bit more tang and savoriness.
Was there any burn? VERY slightly…if I ate several chips the little bit of spice that was present grew a little bit. Otherwise, I would say that the US-made Spicy Nacho Doritos were spicier than these. In fact, I can think of A LOT of products spicier than these. What the hell, Doritos??
The flavor packet made the overall flavor more tomatoey, and that’s it. This didn’t have any chili powder flavor, it didn’t have any wsort of exotic tomato lime flavor…it was just sort of cheesy, tomatoey, and plain. Would not buy again.
PURCHASED AT: OXXO store in Mexico
COST: about $1.50
Thoughts? Please comment below or hit me up on Twitter @junkfoodguy or LIKE my Facebook Page and message me there. Also, you can always email me at junkfoodguy@junkfoodguy.com. Let’s hang.
Sincerely,
Junk Food Guy
Discuss - 34 Comments
WHAT A LET DOWN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
From the land of chiles, and spicy food?
We must concur, great looking bag – simple, precise, and even ‘en fuego’ sounds better than ‘on fire’ or ‘flamin’ hot’…..alas.
Maybe the fire comes later??
Welcome back! Happy 2013.
“…more goals in mind.” Related to this? Or, your acquired time will be focused else where?
@ChipReview: I KNOW, I was REALLY let down. Saddened actually. Clearly a wrong turn
It’s been five years and no fire yet. 🙁
Nixtamalization is a process by which raw maize kernels are prepared for use. I think dried corn kernels are boiled in an alkaline solution, which does something to the starch and the nutrients inside the kernels that makes them digestable and absorbable. Nixtamalized corn can be made into hominy, which can then be ground into masa for tortillas, which are then dried and fried and coated in disappointingly weak red powder.
I know this because yesterday, my fiancee was trying to make chili with hominy. We went to five stores, which were COMPLETELY DEVOID OF HOMINY. Star Market, Whole Foods in Brookline, Whole Foods in Cambridge, Shaw’s, even the freaking White Hen Pantry. In a huff, she looked up how to make hominy at home and decided maybe that slaked lime or wood ash wasn’t really something we wanted in the apartment. But seriously, where’d all the hominy go?!? What gives, Boston?
ps. yeah Pats.
@Shorneys: Good to know, re: Nixtamalization. No hominy in Boston? yeah, wth
If you ever need some more guest bloggers, I’m down to review some ice cream inspired junk food;]
I’m not going to lie, I haven’t bought a bag of doritos in maybe 4 years but the packaging on this one is very appealing for some reason. Too bad they’re all talk and no bite.
@Nick: I’ve never really thought about regular guest bloggers…I’ll have to ponder that
I’ll join in with the disappointment, I was waiting for the picture at the end with you blasting a fire extinguisher into your face.
As for the schedule, I’ll take quality over quantity any day. Junk it up 🙂
@Dana: I KNOW! I wanted really spicy chips. Such a letdown
get more guest reviewers! i would definetly review some healthy food if you want, i do alot of shopping at traders joes and eat alot of protein bars and such that i could review
@Nathaniel – I guess some Protein Bars ARE dressed up like junk food…
Wow, you don’t see a pack of something included with your chip bags here!
All that marketing hype for nothing…
@Elisa: sad trombone sound 🙁
To me these were like regular Doritos dipped in mild Tobasco and then sprinkled with cigarette ash. Not good. Smoky Chipotle BBQ is still my favorite by far.
@Goober: Yikes
I dunno if it’s because I’m currently sick, but I found this flavour to really have a sting to it. Maybe the Canadian recipe varies from the American- who knows. I’m not a wimp when it comes to spicy things, either, so I’m not sure what to take from this review vs my own experience
@Colin: Hmmmm I wonder if the Mexico version is different from the one being marketed in US and Canada?
I’m from Canada to, and I found these to be one of the hooter chips i’ve ever eaten. I think we must have a different recipe.
@jarred: They have to be coming soon to the US…no?
I just destroyed a bag of these last night. THEY ARE AMAZING. I question your snackability sense.
Maybe it’s because you got the Mexican Version and I got them in Canada, the True North, Strong and Free… because these chips are epic.
I’ll admit that they should have named them something else – but I can look past that.
@GPWR: LOL, I like it! Yeah, I wonder – maybe the blend there IS different?
I googled inferno to find what the flavor is supposed to be, because I can’t figure it out, then I read this. Just wanted to say the Canadian recipe must vary, I eat blair’s hot sauce on a daily basis and still find these mildly spicy, I hope you look into finding some Canadian ones and re-doing this blog 😉
@Steve: That’s what people keep telling me! Hopefully this inferno flavor will be out in the US soon
If Canada Post wasn’t ridiculously priced, I would happily send you a bag.
@Steve: No worries, man – I can wait it out!
Yeah Canadian recipe is definitely different. The bag I bought in Montreal looks completely different and there was no flavour packet and I find them to be extremely spicy.
@Jessica: looks like its time for a trip to Canada
The Canadian Infernos are spicier than the Spicy Nacho ones, albeit not by much.
@Octo7: Ah, interesting
Another Canadian here, picked up a bag of these the other day and not to sound like a broken record, but the Canadian ones must differ because at least in my opinion, they’re awesome. The flavour is so good but the thing is, it’s like torture because they actually are pretty spicy (at least in my opinion) so it’s like a test of how bad you want it hahaha
@Hippy: Now I REALLY need to try these from Canada :\
I’m not going to lie. These are my favourite Doritos, at the moment. They are by no means “Inferno” like I was hoping for in the start.. But I ended up liking how sweet they kind of are. They’re kind of like what I first expected sweet chilli heat to taste like. 4/5
From Canada also, maybe that’s why the Inferno is better?
@Mike: Maybe – Everyone raves about the Canadian Doritos Inferno, so I need to try these