Junk Food Nation!  Happy Easter (belated) and Happy Baseball Opening Day!!!  Do you know how excited I am???  Baseball is my favorite sport of all, and for those of you who are zzzzzzzz-ing out already, that’s totally fine.  I’ll be the 12-year old kid in the corner hanging onto his Don Mattingly rookie cards and yelling at the TV pitch by pitch.

Today is also April Fools Day, but I really don’t have the energy or the interest in pulling a hoax today.  Have you log on and I’ve changed the blog to HEALTH FOOD GUY or some BS.  Whatever.  Nope, today I’m going to write a LOT (NOTE: A WHOLE LOT) about how I think this year’s MLB season will play out.  Don’t worry, I won’t cram it all in here above the fold; you baseball junkies can scroll to AFTER the review if you want to read my musings.  Deal? Deal.

Today’s junk food: New Häagen-Dazs Sea Salt Caramel Gelato and Häagen-Dazs Vanilla Bean Gelato!

When I saw that Häagen-Dazs was making Gelato, I was excited  After all, I’ve been a big fan of Häagen-Dazs on this blog, and new flavors are my jam.  Problem: Häagen-Dazs ain’t cheap, and I wasn’t about to go out and buy $5 tubs for every new flavor.  I just wasn’t.

So, when I came upon these mini Häagen-Dazs Sea Salt Caramel Gelato and Häagen-Dazs Vanilla Bean Gelato tubs, I was happy! Mini servings, just enough for reviewing.  So let’s get to it!

First up: New Häagen-Dazs Sea Salt Caramel Gelato!

New Häagen-Dazs Sea Salt Caramel Gelato was pretty good!  Many of my blogger friends have reviewed it (On Second Scoop’s review, The Impulsive Buy’s review, The Ice Cream Informant’s review), and I echo many of their comments.  The caramel ice cream is VERY sweet (almost too much for me), but it is super creamy and has a nice burnt sugar flavor.  The salty caramel swirl helps reign in some of the sweet creamy flavor, and overall, there is no mistaking this flavor profile.  Dead on.  I liked this a lot.

Next: New Häagen-Dazs Vanilla Bean Gelato!

Now, I am very critical when it comes to my vanilla bean flavor, and Talenti’s Tahitian Vanilla Bean Gelato is my current favorite.  Could this New Häagen-Dazs Vanilla Bean Gelato measure up?

In a word, sort of.  The creamy vanilla flavor was there, and there was some good vanilla bean-y taste, so I liked this.  Still, I prefer my vanilla bean flavor to really HIT MY IN THE FACE, and this didn’t have the same punch as the Talenti version.  Still, all in all, a very good vanilla, and a very close second to Talenti.

PURCHASED AT: Giant Food

COST: $1.50 per little tiny tub

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Junk Food Guy Predictions:

OK, so let me get to one of my favorite posts of the year, by far.  ESPN had a number of their writers and on-screen talent make their predictions for the upcoming baseball season. You can find their team finish predictions here, and their award predictions here.  But who cares about them, this is all about me!  I get to write about baseball and pretend that some of you out there actually care about what I think? And so I can go on and on and on for you baseball nerds? NIRVANA!

AL EAST: Yankees – Ok, hear me out.  I am a Yankees fan, this is Yankees bias, and I recognize that they have taken huge steps back.  HUGE steps. Arod’s contract is a disaster, Jeter, Teix, Granderson are all hurt, they have randos at catcher and a slew of new purchases that are older than I am – WHICH IS NOT A GOOD THING (Youkilis? Hafner? Vernon Wells?  Where is Jeromy Burnitz, for Pete’s sake?)  But here’s the thing…When I look around the AL East, I am not convinced anyone can dethrone them.  TORONTO is loaded with talent, but they had much of this talent last year, and still only generated 716 runs…that’s middle of the pack in the AL, folks.  Will adding Melky and Reyes help?  Sure. And that pitching staff IS much better.  TAMPA BAY is young and has great pitching, but they LOST a bunch of talent, and scored even less runs than Toronto.  I’m unconvinced.  Baltimore – they scored as many runs as the Jays, but can their pitching do it again, another year in a row?  I say nay.  And Boston, for finishing last place last year, only did so because their pitching was putrid, since they scored more runs than anyone except the Yanks.  I think with a healthy Lester and maybe a Clay Buchholz and Felix Doubront resurgence, Boston will surprise.  And after all that is said, Yankee Stadium is STILL a bandbox, and that staff is the exact same as last year (ugh) with the return of Mariano Rivera.  I just don’t think enough has changed.  My final AL East standings:

1-Yankees, 2-Blue Jays, 3-Orioles, 4-Rays, 5-Red Sox

AL CENTRAL: Tigers – the Tigers made it to the World Series last year, AND has a Triple Crown winner.  Where else can they go but down, right? Except the AL Central is so awful, besides them.  PLUS they get Victor Martinez back??  Not fair.  The TWINS will be in last place, NOT because their lineup has no pop (rookie Aaron Hicks is one to watch), but because any staff led by Vance Worley and ending with Liam Hendricks (didn’t he star in Taken?) is going to allow a bushel of runs, every inning, every game. THe INDIANS added Swisher and Michael Bourn (that’s good) and they still have added Brett Myers and Scott Kazmir (YUCK).  This staff gave up the most runs in the league last year…and they might again.   The ROYALS have a fascinating young lineup, and I can see them bashing in tons of runs, but outside of the newly acquired James Shields, that staff is just as bad as Minnesota’s (Jeremy Guthrie?? You’re still around??)  The WHITE SOX are “not so bad” only by default of the other three non-Detroit teams being so shaky.  My final AL Central standings:

1-Tigers, 2-ChiSox, 3-Royals, 4-Indians, 5-Twins

AL WEST: Angels – Ok Ok, FINE.  Angels, YOU WIN, I’ve chosen you to win the AL West.  I still think Anaheim is where pitching goes to die (CJ Wilson, Scott Kazmir, and now Tommy Hanson), but you clubbed the third most runs in the AL, AND added Josh Hamilton.  I haven’t even mentioned Mike Trout, and I’ll still buy.  OAKLAND has a great team, and a great young staff – can they do it again?  In Cespedes, we trust.  The RANGERS, I think, are due for a setback.  Yes, they scored the most runs in the AL last year…but how good is this pitching staff, really? After Yu Darvish, you have Holland and Harrison – yucky.  This is not the same team as 2010…I mean, where has Colby Lewis gone?  Moreover, SEATTLE just got a whole lot better, adding Michael Morse and Kendrys Morales, and getting more from Jesus Montero and Dustin Ackley.  I could see this team passing the Rangers, easily.  Houston DID beat Texas last night…but I’m more worried about what happens when those fearless young bats go cold.  That staff isn’t carrying anyone to the postseason.  My final AL West standings:

1-Angels, 2-A’s, 3-Mariners, 4-Rangers, 5-Astros

AL Wildcard 1: Athletics – Oh yeah.  If they don’t outright win the AL West, the A’s will be in the post-season.

AL Wildcard 2: Blue Jays – As explained above, I think they will be better, and edge the Orioles.  Sorry, Baltimore.

ALCS: Angels & Tigers – It kills me to NOT say New York here, but I think this is the natural result.  The Tigers will be the one seed and crush whoever comes out of the Wildcard, and over five games I can’t quite see the Yanks beating the Angels…yet. Whether it’s the Yanks or the Angels, it doesn’t matter, because…

AL Champs: Tigers – I can’t deny it. Prince, Miggy, Victor, Austin Jackson, AND Verlander?  Who cares if they don’t have a closer yet? Pencil them in for October.

NL EAST: Nationals – This may be home town bias, but what weaknesses do they have? One of the top 3 pitchers in baseball, a star rising in Harper, and a lineup that has a +137 run differential – best in baseball in 2012.  Even if they regress, they are still going to make waves.  ATLANTA has an amazing outfield, but who do they REALLY have one their staff? An old Tim Hudson? Kris Medlen?  Ok, they have talent, but not first place talent.  Everyone is writing off the PHILLIES, but they aren’t THAT BAD, and they STILL have Hamels, Lee, and Halladay.  Look, I’m not picking them to win 90 games, but they could win 85.  The METS are a team on the rise.  Good young talent – keep an eye on Matt Harvey.  The MARLINS are a team who I can only name one player off of – Gary Sheffield.  What? That was almost 15 years ago? Well, crap.  My final NL East standings:

1-Nats, 2-Braves, 3-Phillies, 4-Mets, 5-Marlins

NL CENTRAL: Cardinals – Losing Berkman will hurt, but only a little.  Everyone says the REDS will be awesome, and Votto may have an amazing season, but I see the Reds like the NL Yankees – powerful lineup and staff that makes you go Meh.  The Cardinals are like the NL Athletics – solid lineup up and down, and a staff JUST solid enough to keep you in every game.  Plus, I think Allen Craig and Oscar Taveras are both for real.  The BREWERS adding Kyle Lohse will help, I’m certain.  Even if Ryan Braun is a CHEATER.  The poor PIRATES – McCutchen is awesome, but when the hell is Pedro Alveraz going to stop up? I say never, and they’ve lost their closer? Ick.  The CUBS are loaded with young talent, and I like their staff better than the Pirates…but they were last in the NL in runs scored last year, and I don’t see any reason to believe differently this year. My final NL Central standings:

1-Cardinals, 2-Reds, 3-Brewers, 4-Pirates, 5-Cubs

NL WEST: Giants – Let me just say, I can’t believe I chose the Diamondbacks to win this division last year.  Yikes.  The Giants have it all – solid pitching, and a surprisingly good run-generating lineup.  I am unconvinced that the DODGERS Toronto-like team can win it all, but I think they will be close.  I mean, Kershaw is awesome, but Beckett was done a long time ago, though Greinke could have a resurgence in the NL.  DBACKS have the ability to score runs, but that hitters park will ruin the confidence of any young pitcher.  The ROCKIES are in the same position, except their staff is even worse than Arizona’s.  THe PADRES will have no one to hit with Headley and Grandal out… and with a forgettable pitching staff, this team will contend with Miami and the Cubs as the bottomest feeder in the NL.  My final NL West standings:

1-Giants, 2-Dodgers, 3-DBacks, 4-Rockies, 5-Padres

Wildcard 1: Reds – Tough calls all around, as the Braves, Dodgers, and Reds are all amazing 2nd place teams.  I gave the first edge to the Reds, only because I think they are the most complete team of the three.  

NL Wildcard 2: Braves – Sorry, LA.  I know you have Kemp. Hanley. Adrian. Kershaw….but you also have Beckett, and no solid closer, and the Braves have a better bullpen and a great defense.

NLCS: Nationals & Cardinals – I do think the Nats can beat either the Reds or the Braves, just based on matchups.  And Cardinals vs Giants….if a few things were different here and there, the Red Birds might’ve been the NL reps last year in October.

NL Champs: Nationals – I like the Cardinals a LOT this year, but I think the Nats pitching has the chance to sweep sweep sweep through the playoffs, especially against the Cardinals.  A lot of things have to go the right way, but that Nats lineup is SCARY.

WORLD SERIES: Nationals over Tigers – YES!  DC BRINGS HOME A CHAMPIONSHIP?  This all hinges on the fact that I believe the bullpens will be the difference.  If the Nats score runs, that bullpen will hold them.  The Tigers bullpen is not as good, period.  I could see this series going seven games, easily, though.

AL Cy Young: Justin Verlander – Best pitcher in the AL, bar none.  This is an easy one.

NL Cy Young: Stephen Starsburg – Kershaw is good, but when it comes to wins AND stats, Strasburg will deliver on both. Easy choice for me, over Clayton and his own teammate, Gio.

AL MVP: Mike Trout – I can see the encore coming, and it is beautiful.  I can see Cabrera having a great year, but voters will give Trout his due this yesr.

NL MVP: Joey Votto – He will have an amazing year, if healthy.  With Choo at the top of the lineup, Votto will be the source of many runs.  It won’t be Bryce Harper (yet).

AL Rookie of the Year: Aaron Hicks – ROY is all about getting playing time, and Hicks and Jackie Bradley are with the big leagues from Day 1.  I like Hicks better, since he’ll likely bat at the top of the lineup.  Dylan Bundy may make noise, but not much.

NL Rookie of the Year: Jedd Gyorko – Like I said, ROY is all about playing time.  I really want to say Oscar Taveras, but I don’t know when he’ll get called back up.  Same goes for Yusiel Puig and Adam Eaton.  I could see Gerrit Cole coming up and being awesome.  But Jedd has the job day one, and will get plenty of chance to prove himself.

AL Manager of the Year: Jim Leyland

NL Manager of the Year: Davey Johnson – I guess it’s not so hard picking the two managers who I think will be in the World Series, now, is it?

AL Bust of the Year: The Toronto Pitching Staff – Yeah they’re good, but when did they turn into Generation K?  Lets not anoint them greater than the 90’s Braves’ staff quite yet…last time I checked, Mark Buehrle and Josh Johnson had pretty mediocre seasons last year.

NL Bust of the Year: The Dodgers Lineup – looks wonderful on paper, but I think Hanley comes back from injury lamely, I think Ethier has lost his touch, I think Kemp will be fine but so much depends on which Adrian Gonzalez shows up this year. Oh, and btw, who the heck are these others in the lineup? Luis Cruz, AJ Ellis? YUCK.

So there you have it.  My 2013 MLB Predictions!  That was fun.

WHAT DO *YOU* THINK?  I want to see what your predictions are, in the comments below.  You can replicate the same categories I posted, or you can pick and choose.  Point is, I want to know what you think.  COMMENT BELOW!

Thoughts? Please comment below or hit me up on Twitter @junkfoodguy or LIKE my Facebook Page and message me there. Also, you can always email me at junkfoodguy@junkfoodguy.com. Let’s do this.

Sincerely,

Junk Food Guy