Junk Food Nation, my eyes popped out of my head when I read this recent AWFUL story about a soccer match in Brazil.  Apparently, the ref in this soccer game called a foul on a player and gave him a red card.  The player, pissed off, rushed over to argue the call.  The ref then PULLS A KNIFE AND STABS THE PLAYER IN THE HEART.  The player was rushed to the hospital but died en route.  The ref, who had been nabbed by fans and strung up, was STONED TO DEATH and then CUT INTO PIECES when the mob caught wind of the player’s death.  And the moral of the story is HOLY SH*T WTF BRAZIL????

I mean, wow.  This story immediately reminds me of how Andres Escobar was killed after the 1994 World Cup when he scored an own goal, and it also reminds me of the opening scene in The Last Boy Scout.  After this story, Brazil is simultaneously one of the most enticing and scary places of all time for me.  I’m so conflicted.  On one hand, the hottest women in the world.  On the other hand, GETTING STABBED AND DISMEMBERED.  On one hand, damn good eats (meat galore!) On the other hand, GETTING STABBED AND DISMEMBERED.  On one hand, not getting stabbed and dismembered. On the other hand, DEFINITELY GETTING STABBED AND DISMEMBERED.

What do you think, Junk Food Nation?  I was stunned when I heard this story, and kept hoping it was fake.  Someone reveal to me that this was a fake story.  Please.  Ugh.

Today’s junk food: New Pepperidge Farm French Toast Goldfish Grahams!

New Pepperidge Farm French Toast Goldfish Grahams: The Money Shot

I’ve had plenty of experience reviewing Goldfish Grahams (see here, here, here, and here).  The consensus is usually: tastes pretty good, because sweet graham crackers are ALWAYS good.  But anything special?  Nahhh.  As a result, I’ve passed on all the other “new” flavors of Goldfish Grahams I saw in the store.  Until now…New Pepperidge Farm French Toast Goldfish Grahams I had to try.  French Toast flavor really made me curious.  Would it be egg-y? Cinnamon-y? Maple syrup-y?

New Pepperidge Farm French Toast Goldfish Grahams: I like the big wallop of butter in the center of the pool of syrup…

New Pepperidge Farm French Toast Goldfish Grahams: Again with the Goldfish baseball card profiles.  Is anyone collecting these?

New Pepperidge Farm French Toast Goldfish Grahams: how do they know that 34 pieces is EXACTLY one serving?

New Pepperidge Farm French Toast Goldfish Grahams: I see brown sugar, molasses, cinnamon, sugar sugar sugar

New Pepperidge Farm French Toast Goldfish Grahams: Fuzzy with sugar

When I opened this bag of New Pepperidge Farm French Toast Goldfish Grahams, I’ll be damned if it didn’t smell like French Toast.  The first smell I got was of maple syrup/maple sugar, along with a sort of buttery smell. As I sniffed deeper, I could smell a bit of cinnamon and a lot of graham cracker aroma coming through.  But yes – at first sniff, spot on.  Time to taste.

New Pepperidge Farm French Toast Goldfish Grahams: lots of cinnamon…

As you can see, each piece of New Pepperidge Farm French Toast Goldfish Grahams was covered in some sugar.  I popped a big handful into my mouth and chewed.  Was there a French Toast flavor? Yes, but it was fleeting.  For maybe one-two seconds, I did get a taste of maple syrup – the air in my mouth exploded with a bunch of flavors at once.  I could taste maple sugar.  I could taste butter.  I could taste cinnamon. And I swear I could taste that sort of egg-y/toasted flavor that French Toast typically has.

Then, as soon as I chewed a couple times more, all of that faded, and I was left with a sugary graham cracker taste…although the egg-y/toasted flavor did linger.  Despite much of the maple flavor fading at the start, I still really enjoyed these – like the other Goldfish Grahams, these are sweet graham crackers, so where can you REALLY go wrong?

All in all, solid snack.  I still wonder if these Goldfish Grahams will EVER reach another level…I’m guessing no, but I appreciate all the different flavors PF is trying out.

PURCHASED AT: Target

COST: $2.00 on sale

Thoughts? Please comment below or hit me up on Twitter @junkfoodguy or LIKE my Facebook Page and message me there. Also, you can always email me at junkfoodguy@junkfoodguy.com. Let’s do this.

Sincerely,

Junk Food Guy