Junk Food Nation, as an attorney, I’m constantly aware of how litigious our society is. Sometimes it’s justified, and sometimes it’s not.  Today’s ridiculous story of litigiousness comes from Lakeside, California where a Little League coach is suing his own player for tossing his helmet in celebration after scoring a game-winning run struck Beck and tore his Achilles tendon. I first read this on Deadspin, and see the video report here:

Dude, what?? Why does this remind me so much of the guy in DC who was caught on tape throwing a banana peel on the ground, and then intentionally slipping on it? (He was charged with second degree fraud, btw).

But back to the issue at hand – this 14-year old kid throws a helmet into the air and it lands, SEVERING this guy’s Achilles tendon?  Like, it actually CUT THROUGH THE SKIN A HALF INCH DEEP AND LACERATED HIM, BLOOD EVERYWHERE?

No. No it didn’t.  But can you imagine the scene? The kids are excited because they won, all of sudden their coach collapses and points to the defendant, fingers outstretched to the heavens, crying Nancy-Kerrigan-style: “WHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY??????”  Sigh. Like the report says, it’s unlikely he will succeed becuase of (1) no intent and (2) assumption of risk, but I think we can all agree: What a wackjob.

And before we leave baseball talk, did you hear that pitcher Clayton Kershaw signed a 7-year $215 million dollar deal yesterday? That makes him not only the highest paid pitcher on a yearly basis, but the highest paid baseball player EVER on a yearly basis.

Well, wow.  Now those who know baseball know that Kershaw IS the best pitcher in the league, without question.  It’s really not even close – but HOLY CRAP.  $30 million a year??? Here’s a list of who he makes more than on a yearly basis, of people who have annual contracts (not movie stars, or Bill Gates): Katie Couric. Howard Stern. Matt Lauer. David Letterman.  And, oh yeah, EVERY SINGLE OTHER EXISTING ATHLETE.

Well, good on ya, Kershaw.  I’m sure the fact that you got married at 22 won’t haunt you forever (I keed I keed).

Today’s junk food: Banana Twinkies!

Banana Twinkies! Sayyyy whaaaaa…..Apparently, back in the day, the original Twinkies WERE banana Twinkies – that is, cakes filled with banana cream. According to Wiki: “During World War II, bananas were rationed and the company was forced to switch to vanilla cream. This change proved popular, and banana-cream Twinkies were not widely re-introduced.”  Well, what the hell, man.  I love bananas!  I NEVER knew these existed.

The Banana Twinkies I bought have an expiration date of Jan 20, 2014.  I thought these were the only things that were supposed to survive a nuclear holocaust?  Hmm.

My friends over at GrubGrade reviewed these three years ago, but back then they were a novelty, I think.  Now, Banana Twinkies are back to regular release – probably due to the new Hostess ownership.

PS: Love that Twinkies partnered with the Despicable Me minions.  EVERYONE thought the minions looked like Twinkies, so why not go with it?  Smart.

Apparently, the now-over contest involving these Banana Twinkies was to take these accessories, dress up your Twinkie, and then send a picture to be entered into a drawing.  I was excited to do this, even for just the blog pictures but…..NO PERFORATION!!!! You expect me to cut this sh*t out??? HECK NO.  Pfffftttt….make ME do work, Twinkies?  Think again!

Opening a box of these Banana Twinkies – I was struck by the sight.  Pretty classic.

I immediately unwrapped one of these Banana Twinkies and sniffed it – definite banana smell.  Definite artificial banana smell.

The last time I tried a Twinkie, it was one of those Chocolate Creme ones…and I was underwhelmed.  Welp, time to give these a shot…

Well, I have to say, I was pleasantly surprised at these Banana Twinkies – I liked them!  The texture, fluffiness of the cake, semi-greasiness of the entire confection – all of it was classic Twinkie.

The obvious flavor punch, then, came from the banana cream itself, which I think Twinkies pulled off.  The cream was light, sweet, and have a nice banana flavor and aroma, even if it did seem a little chemical and artificial (despite the presence of banana puree).  But, I mean, it’s frosting – it’s like any frosting you might get from a tub or spray can or whatever. It’s gonna taste different than the actual fruit.

The goal, then, IMO is to make sure the cream doesn’t remind you of anything else, and this didn’t.  I got the sense of banana immediately; the flavor was simple and straightfoward.

If you like Twinkies, AND you like banana… I think you’ll like these.  But you need to like both of those things 😉  Kind of leading the witness, aren’t I?

PURCHASED AT: Walmart

COST: $3.00 on sale

Thoughts? Please comment below or hit me up on Twitter @junkfoodguy or LIKE my Facebook Page and message me there. I also have Google+!! Let’s hang out.

Sincerely,

Junk Food Guy