Junk Food Nation, I’ve TRIED to avoid football/sports talk ever since the NFC/AFC Championships, but with two more days of blogging left before the Super Bowl, I can’t hold back any longer.  I’ll give my picks tomorrow, but today I want to discuss SUPER BOWL GLUTTONY.

Besides Thanksgiving, I can’t think of another day where gluttony is celebrated. Sure at Christmas time you’re eating more cookies and candy than your local grocery carries, but it’s not like anyone approaches Christmas saying, “TODAY IS THE DAY I EAT 8 POUNDS OF BRUSSEL SPROUTS. LOAD UP THEM CORNISH HENS, B*TCH.”  Similarly, even though Fourth of July has a hot dog eating contest associated with it, most people I know focus on having 1-2 burgers and/or hot dogs, and then they concentrate on finding the biggest explosives possible to set off in their neighbor’s lawn.

But the Super Bowl – OH, the Super Bowl.  Only on this day can someone have buffalo chicken dip, artichoke dip, bags of chips, cases of beer, fruit platters, veggie platters, chili, buffalo wings, pizza, soda, homemade lasagna, french fries, a vat of gravy, cakes of various shapes and sizes, more beer, and a goddamn watermelon carved like the Lombardi trophy, and STILL feel like there’s not enough food for the game.  “But…but…what if we run out of Lombardi Trophy watermelon balls??? WHAT THEN?”

Of course, the real truth for me is that once the spread is out, I stuff myself so quickly that by the time the first quarter ends, I am up to my ears in fat, salt, sugar and alcohol.  You mean it’s not normal to eat three slices of pizza in the first four minutes of the game and fall asleep during the second quarter? Hmmm, then my traditions are WAY off.

This year, in the Junk Food Guy household, I’m opting for the ever popular MAKE-YOUR-OWN-NACHO-BAR!  Booyah.  (Do people still say Booyah? I think they don’t.)  Anyways, I’m going to have a vat of chili, a bumbling urn of cheese sauce, jalapenos, diced onion, diced tomatoes, olives, shredded cheese, ten different sauces and salsas, and as many tortilla chip varieties as Wegmans carries.  I figure I can eat at least ten plates of monstrosity before my veins harden.  I might also make bacon wrapped hotdogs, just for fun and for love of country.  MURICA!

HOW ABOUT YOU, Junk Food Nation? What is on YOUR slate for Super Bowl / big game menu? What beer / alcohol are you having? What sides or apps? Is there going to be any veggies on the table at all?  Tell me in the comments below.

Today’s junk food: Newtons Toasted Coconut Dark Fudge Fruit Thins!

Newtons Toasted Coconut Dark Fudge Fruit Thins: The Money Shot

Newtons Toasted Coconut Dark Fudge Fruit Thins are not new, but I’ve only NOW have had a chance to try them.  Why? Because for some AWESOME reason, my local Safeway offered me a coupon to try them for FREE.  Free is such a great word.  Free.  Free free free free free.

Newtons Toasted Coconut Dark Fudge Fruit Thins: Toasted coconutty

I reviewed the other fudge-drizzled Fruit Thins offering a while back, Newtons Banana Drizzled with Dark Fudge Fruit Thins… And I LOVED those.  Couldn’t stop stuffing them into my mouth.  These Newtons Toasted Coconut Dark Fudge Fruit Thins are the second fudge drizzled flavor Newtons has, and I’m stoked to try them.

Newtons Toasted Coconut Dark Fudge Fruit Thins: LOVE COCONUT

Of course, one of the main reasons I wanted to try these Newtons Toasted Coconut Dark Fudge Fruit Thins is because I REALLY LIKE COCONUT.  I know, I know – some people HATE coconut.  But I’ve always liked Mounds, Almond Joy, and have recently become a coconut oil convert.  So BRING ON THE COCONUT, especially when it’s mixed with fudge.

Newtons Toasted Coconut Dark Fudge Fruit Thins: 50 cal per cookie

Newtons Toasted Coconut Dark Fudge Fruit Thins: Contains milk!

When I opened up this bag/box/package of Newtons Toasted Coconut Dark Fudge Fruit Thins, my face was BLASTED with coconut smell.  Wowee.

Newtons Toasted Coconut Dark Fudge Fruit Thins: Plenty o cookies

The aroma of these Newtons Toasted Coconut Dark Fudge Fruit Thins actually made me a bit worried at first – did they just spray the cookies down with artificial coconut aroma?  Because these smelled a bit TOO perfect.

Newtons Toasted Coconut Dark Fudge Fruit Thins: Drizzled

Each Newtons Toasted Coconut Dark Fudge Fruit Thins was drizzled with fudge which started to smear on my fingers as soon as I lifted it (thanks, palm oil!) Each cookie smelled nicely of toasted coconut, so I jammed one in my mouth…

Newtons Toasted Coconut Dark Fudge Fruit Thins: Flecks of coconut

YUMMY! These Newtons Toasted Coconut Dark Fudge Fruit Thins were just as good at their banana counterparts.  Tasty tasty tasty.

The cookie was light, and crumbled nicely in my mouth.  The dough was nice and sweet, and the rolled oats and toasted coconut embedded into it gave the whole chew a nice texture.  It didn’t feel like straight wheat flour – there were little bumps along the way which were nice and made the Fruit Thins seem…healthy? You know what i mean – it’s like when you eat wheat bread. The little bumps in the nooks of the bread convince your brain that you’re NOT still eating a big chunk of sugary carbs.

ANYWAYS, the coconut flavor was really strong in the cookie itself, without being overpowering.  I got the immediate toasted coconut flavor, but it wasn’t sugary sweet like a Mounds bar – it just provided a nice platform for the fudge, which was full of chocolate flavor and helped highlight the coconut taste.  If anything, this sort of tasted like the best part of a coconut cream pie – the toasty edge piece of crust which still has a bit of coconut cream attached to it.  Then dunk that piece of crust in chocolate and eat.  That’s what these tasted like.

Highly recommend these cookies.  Another good one, Newtons!

PURCHASED AT: Safeway

COST: $4.79 retail at Safeway (MY WORD), but free for me (hurray).

Thoughts? Please comment below or hit me up on Twitter @junkfoodguy or LIKE my Facebook Page and message me there. I also have Google+!! Let’s hang out.

Sincerely,

Junk Food Guy