Junk Food Nation, I have a question. Well, I guess its only for the male half of Junk Food Nation.  I dunno, if you’re a female and have an opinion, feel free to weigh in.  But it’s about urinals, and the question is this: How far are you supposed to stand from a urinal?  I don’t mean FUNCTIONALLY – I know how far *I* stand from a urinal to use it. I meant ETIQUETTE WISE.  The reason I ask is because recently I went into the bathroom at [redacted] and there was a bank of urinals and this dude was there standing a GOOD FOOT FROM THE URINAL DOING HIS BUSINESS.  And I was like WHAT THE HELL MAN.

I mean, I get it. You stand too close, sometimes you get stuff on your shoes. Guys also always have to deal with urinals with unseen angles that somehow create maximum splashback, which is NEVER a good look.  Or maybe you’re just grossed out by some urinals in general and don’t want your pants, belt, or junk ANYWHERE NEAR the thing.  But still – there’s GOT to be a limit.

What do you think, Junk Food Nation?  Either this guy’s a sociopath or he’s just showing off.  Either way, NOT OK. This is as bad as dude who drop ENTIRE TROU when using the urinal – TRUST ME I’VE SEEN THAT TOO.  Awful.  Urinal etiquette is APPARENTLY non existent since it’s just assumed that guys are animals and we’ll do stupid sh*t to make each other laugh like fart on people’s heads and belching during the quiet parts of movies. BUT THERE’S A LINE PEOPLE. And I would submit that standing a foot from a urinal arc-ing your shot IS WAAAAY PAST THAT LINE.

I mean, I cannot be in the minority on this. What say you? Comment below.

Today’s junk food: Jelly Belly Draft Beer Jelly Beans!

Jelly Belly Draft Beer Jelly Beans: The Money Shot

I picked up these samples of Jelly Belly Draft Beer Jelly Beans at the Summer Fancy Food Show, but me and the Nosh Show guys and Cybele from CandyBlog had already discussed this a couple months ago. Jelly beans that taste like beer?? Why not – and why hadn’t this been earlier?  Hm.

Jelly Belly Draft Beer Jelly Beans: Modified food starch!

Jelly Belly Draft Beer Jelly Beans don’t contain alcohol, according to the ingredient listing, and according to their website. Well, that’s no fun!  I mean – not even a LITTLE bit of alcohol?  Like, if I snarfed a bag of these, I could blow 0.01?  No?  Poo.

Jelly Belly Draft Beer Jelly Beans: Weird smell

When I opened these Jelly Belly Draft Beer Jelly Beans, an odd smell emanated from the bag. My beer making expert friend Josh smelled the bag too – he said (for you craft beer makers) that it smelled like stale yeast.  Whatever that means. Definitely smelled yeast-y – and it also reminded me of college, cleaning up rooms after a party the night before, the smell of stale beer that had been spilled was everywhere.  Yep – that’s the smell I get here.  Old Honey Brown bottles with skunked beer.  Honey Brown….ugh.

Jelly Belly Draft Beer Jelly Beans: CRAZY LOOK

The look of these Jelly Belly Draft Beer Jelly Beans was kind of cool though – bronze crystalline looking. For aesthetic, I’ll give this an A+.  Did this look like beer? I mean, I guess.  But the jewel-like finish to these beans couldn’t be ignored – definitely a cool looking bean!

Popping a few into my mouth, I chewed.  Even before I chewed, my mouth did get a small flavor of…something.  Yeast aroma?  As I chewed, the flavor was still jelly bean sweet, but the sweetness was enhancing…a yeast taste.  I can’t really explain it well. My friend Josh said this tasted like candied yeast. Candied yeast is probably the best way to describe this. It reminded me of beer, in that sort of weird way that the smell/taste of beer drifts through my nostrils when I’m drinking it, and that was the actual flavor I tasted. But these didn’t really TASTE like.  They tasted like…the sweet essence of beer.

Did I like them? I mean, sure – they were still candy, and very sweet.  But given the choice between these and other flavors of Jelly Belly jelly beans, I’d prob opt for others.  Just…weird.

PURCHASED AT: Get them online here.

COST: $2.50 for a 3.5 oz bag.

Thoughts? Please comment below or hit me up on Twitter @junkfoodguy or LIKE my Facebook Page and message me there. I also have Google+!! Let’s hang out.

Sincerely,

Junk Food Guy