Junk Food Nation, what is UP? Happy Monday!  It’s July 28, and the summer is over. I mean, the Hall of Fame game is this Sunday, people. Bills vs. Giants?  No?  You’re not as fired up as I am??? Oh, I suppose you were more fired up over the Comic Con news regarding the new Avengers movie or the photos of Gal Gadot as Wonder Woman, weren’t you? WEREN’T YOU?? *puts you in headlock* NERDS! (sidebar: I am one of those nerds).

I wanted to thank everyone for the great smoothie recipes you left in the comments of one of my posts last week.  SO MANY of you told me to put peanut butter in my smoothies, which I’d never contemplated before. One of my favorite suggestions was to throw coffee that had gone cold into my blender…insta-caffeinated smoothie. Brilliant.

Over the weekend, I was writing something, and the pen I was using was ALMOST out of ink, but not quite. You know what I mean – where writing with this old pen basically looks like (1) you’re writing in baby blue ink, or (2) you’re trying to ETCH THE FRIGGIN WORDS INTO THE PAPER.  Or, if you’re really lucky, the ink comes out of the rollerball bits at a time, so it unintentionally looks like you’re writing in dotted line. COOL (not cool).  And that’s what was happening to this pen – I signed my name, but only random strokes actually had full ink, the other strokes were blank save for the impression my pen made on the paper. Awesome.

So, what to do with the pen? I USED to be a hoarder – I’d look at a pen like this and think “I can’t throw this away! It still has ink in it, after all!  I mean…horrible ink, but still, INK! And it has the name of my college on it…so…er…SENTIMENTAL VALUE!” And then I’d throw it into the drawer so it could disappoint me in the future.

That changed, of course. I mean, ballpoint pens are like a NICKEL a piece, right? If that. Now I chuck those pens like dollar bills at the club. Hell, the pen might actually still have ink in it, and just need a few rolls across some scrap paper NOPE INTO THE GARBAGE YOU GO.  Of course, I wish WISH there was a way for me to take apart the pen and SQUUEEEZE the ink to the tip of the pen like a roll of toothpaste…but that never works. (Does it?) Of course, it does always bother me there’s no recycling policy when it comes to pens, but whatever. You’re dead to me, old pens. (Now, old highlighters? That’s a whole different story. I’ll press that sh*t to the page as hard as possible to squeeze the neon out).

So, Junk Food Nation, what would you have done, and what do YOU do with old pens?  Are you like OLD me, who probably has a drawer full of half dead pens?  Or are you like NEW me, with a scorched earth policy? Tell me in the comments below.

Today’s junk food: Sweet & Spicy Sriracha Chex Mix Xtreme!

Sweet & Spicy Sriracha Chex Mix Xtreme!!! XTREEEMMMMMEEEE.  I’ve reviewed a lot of Chex Mix on this blog, and recently have trended more towards the Muddy Buddies flavors. Savory Chex Mix, IMO, is never as good as the real thing (baked in the oven, etc.), and my stance on Cehx Mix is well documented – the best parts are the Chex itself!  Stop trying to fill me up with pretzels – IF I WANTED PRETZELS I’D BUY PRETZELS, JERKS.

Sweet & Spicy Sriracha Chex Mix Xtreme is yet another snack hopping on the Sriracha bandwagon – some get it right (Sriracha Pringles, I love you). While other snacks that try are afraid to be bold and fail miserably. Surely something this XTREEEMMMMEEEE can’t screw up the flavor, right?  (Sigh).

Spice-tastic! Awesomely layered! Intensely bold! ADJECTIVES!

Sweet & Spicy Sriracha Chex Mix Xtreme contains garlic powder, dried soy sauce….and toward the very bottom, extractives of paprika.  And that’s the only spice item I can see.  Oh boy…this doesn’t bode well, I fear.

When I opened up this bag of Sweet & Spicy Sriracha Chex Mix Xtreme, I surveyed the scene: Chex cereal. Corn puffs? Bagel chips. And…PRETZELS. (Grrrr).

The bag did not smell spicy. There was no nose tickle. The bag, instead, smelled sort of like hoisin sauce – a dark thick Chinese BBQ sauce that is very sweet…and not spicy.

I popped a whole handful of this Sweet & Spicy Sriracha Chex Mix Xtreme, chewed, and….LET DOWN. This Chex Mix, while it tasted good (I guess) did not taste like Sriracha at all.  I decided to eat the components separately, to see if I could get the flavors promised – after all, I’m sure the pretzels were muting everything.

Pretzels – savory, almost no distinguishable sriracha flavor.

Bread chips – salty, a little sweet soy flavor, no sriracha.

Fake Cheetos – sweet soy, hoisin flavor. No sriracha.

I popped a huge handful of the Chex cereal into my mouth. Usually the Chex, with the hundreds of tiny holes, tend to hold the flavors better. And I was right – the cereal itself certainly had the strongest flavors of the bunch.  There was definitely the garlic and tang that you’d get with a good sriracha sauce.  It was a sweet tang, that was complemented by the soy sauce flavor, giving the entire mouthful a hoisin flavor (as previously mentioned).  There was absolutely NO SPICE.  NONE.  Ok, MAYBE after SEVERAL handfuls, I caught a tiny TINY bit of burn, but I had to TRY to taste it. Don’t make me try this hard ever again, Chex Mix.

So verdict? Tasted fine. Sweet soy and garlic? Yes…but it’s also not the best soy/garlic flavor I’ve ever tasted.  Sriracha taste? NOPE.  I’d avoid these in the future.

PURCHASED AT: Giant Food

COST: $1.99

Thoughts? Please comment below or hit me up on Twitter @junkfoodguy or LIKE my Facebook Page and message me there. I also have Google+!! Let’s hang out.

Sincerely,

Junk Food Guy