Junk Food Nation, good morning. You’ll notice, that wasn’t ” GOOD MORNING! 😀 ”  No, that was a low, tired, hushed, “good morning.” If we were in the same room, I wouldn’t even say “good morning.” I would close my office door, turn off all the nights, and not flex a face muscle for the next eighteen hours.

BUT that wouldn’t be fair to you, JFNation. So, I figured I’d post just a little bit today, and get the week rolling right. I’ll admit – I’m pretty much half-dead today. Between the awful/amazing diet in Vegas, 96 hours of straight basketball, and having my ear drums pounded into submission by a DJ my last night in Sin City, I’m ready for a nap. Also, I weighed myself this morning – I gained 1.3 lbs. I feel like that’s just grime-weight from all the dirty chips I handled. It took a trip to Vegas to make me semi-OCD about hand washing. Seriously, though, Casino Royale. What are you washing these chips with, Petrol? Ick.

But first, let me mention that EPISODE 51 OF THE NOSH SHOW IS HERE!

For the uninitiated, The Nosh Show is a podcast started by Marvo from The Impulsive Buy, featuring Ryan from GrubGrade, Dubba from On Second Scoop, and, of course, me, your friendly neighborhood Junk Food Guy.  And today marks the release of The Nosh Show, Episode 51: Schmacon:

This week, we “discuss Airheads Ice Cream, a Krispy Kreme hot dog, Taco Bell Crispy Chicken, Carrot Kit Kat, and, possibly, the worst chicken & waffles.”  You can listen embedded here:

You can subscribe to The Nosh Show using various services: iTunes, Stitcher, TuneIn, RSS, or, you can also download the episode.

VEGAS!!

So, in case you didn’t catch it, the first few rounds of March Madness occurred this past week, culminating with the best Thurs-Fri-Sat-Sun of the year, where 48 total basketball games occur over the span of 96 hours. I’d been to Vegas before during this juicy sports weekend, and lamented that I couldn’t find takers to go back, what with friends getting older, married, kids, etc.

Then, out of the blue, the BQB, of fall-football-picking-fame, informed me that “Hey, loser, I go every year.” Oh. Alright then. Let’s do this.

Traveling from DC to Vegas pro-tip #1: Always, ALWAYS, buy a burrito from the Dulles airport for your five+ hour flight. It always works out – one of the cheapest flights from DC to Vegas is always a Virgin American flight that has a stop at SFO. As a result, the flight to Vegas will always leave from the gate RIGHT across the corridor from the Dulles Chipotle. And even at 8:00am, they were ALREADY slinging around carne asada like an old fashioned taqueria.

That burrito comes in very handy – eat half about three hours in, eat the other half during the layover at SFO. You’ll be in a perfect spot at the spotless Virgin America terminal of SFO to then chuck all the wrappers, go wash your hands, fill up your water bottle, and think about all the money you’ll lose in that last 1.5 hour hopover to VEGAS. Dulles, Chipotle – you are more essential to me than my ID.

Touchdown! Vegas 2015 March Madness trip has BEGUN! I’ve landed at McCarran Airport now five times, and this time was different. For one, I specifically remember the baggage pickup area being a complete sh*tshow in previous years. Now, they must’ve renovated the airport or something, because the baggage area looked TOTALLY different to me; there weren’t the huge posters of Vegas shows, no dazzling lights – it basically looked like I had landed back in Dulles. If it wasn’t for the sign above, I might’ve thought I landed in the wrong place.

Second big difference: landing on the Wednesday before the start of March Madness vs. the Thursday. On a Thursday/Friday? The cab line was almost an hour to wait in / wade through. On a Wednesday? I wasn’t even sure I was in the CORRECT ground transportation line, I got through it so fast. “Whoa whoa whoa…where are you taking me?” I thought, giving the open cab door a bit of the hairy eyeball.

Reader Marc P. gave me the best suggestion for my Vegas trip – head straight from the airport and take the cab through the nearest In N Out drive-thru window, which coming from McCarran and heading for the Venetian was RIGHT on the way. I smiled when I saw the familiar yellow arrow…

I HAD to take advantage of this In N Out trip – who knows when I’d see the next one? I quickly ordered four double-doubles animal-style with no lettuce/tomato without hesitation. How many were for me, and how many were for friends? WHO CARES?  ORDER FIRST, SORT IT OUT LATER. When these burgers came in the box you see above, I almost cried sweet sweet tears of joy.

And I don’t care if you’re not, but I am an In N Out loyalist…and these burgers lived up to every bite. And they continue to live as lining to my heart valves. My arteries…animal-style.

Finally, after an added $20 to my cab ride due to the burger-detour, I reached my home for the next four-five days: the beautiful Palazzo at the Venetian. It was my first time staying here, and it was PURDY. It still amazes me how some casinos (Venetian, Palazzo, the Delano, the Borgata in AC) manage to get their property to have a golden sheen in the daylight. Um, can my house look like this? Explain how this works, casino people.

It was the night before the Big Dance started, but the first four games were already happening, and the Venetian sports book was HOPPING. Plus, these screens were incredible. That center one, showing the Dayton game – that had to have been a 300″ screen. Look at this picture closely, my friends – this SHALL be what my basement looks like when I buy my next house.

Ok, I’m exhausted. More stories to come, JFNation! Thanks again to Jen and Rob for holding down the fort while I was gone.

Thoughts? Please comment below or hit me up on Twitter @junkfoodguy or LIKE my Facebook Page and message me there. I also have Google+!! Let’s hang out.

Sincerely,

Junk Food Guy