JFG Nation, I’m going to be in Vegas this week for the first round of March Madness, and that means hotel rooms. Now, I’m sure that the casino I’m staying at will have nothing but hypoallergenic rooms, with no issues at all. But, am I crazy, or are hotel rooms generally foul?

We’ve all seen the Dateline episodes. Sometimes hotels only wash the sheets and not that top comforter. Sometimes they NEVER wash the pillows. I remember growing up, as soon as my parents would get into a hotel room, that top comforter would be OUTTA THERE – pulled off and away from the bed entirely. But were the blankets that looked they were from summer camp that were beneath any cleaner? And why IS it that those blankets are always beige? ALWAYS. BEIGE.

I have a friend that brings her OWN sheets and pillowcases to every hotel that she goes to, because (1) she is a maniac, and (2) because she refuses to let her skin touch any hotel sheets. Which, in some ways, isn’t a bad idea – besides the questions regarding cleaniness, there’s also the fact that sometimes, even in the nicest hotels, those sheets are like sandpaper. What are you washing these with, cement? Easy with the starch there, Marriott. These sheets feel like I should be making a cast out of them.

Most hotels I’ve been to recently give you five-seven pillows, which is fun if you’re building a fort, but completely unnecessary. Why am I sleeping on the lower half of the bed? I’ll tell you why; because the four body pillows are taking up the top half, that’s why.

Just in a gruling mood this morning, Nation. What do you think about hotel beds? Do you have any little traditions/paranoias about them? Let me know in the comments below.

Reminder: I am AGAIN having a March Madness pool, hosted over on Yahoo, where YOU can challenge ME to see who is the best college-basketball-March-Madness-picker. Go HERE for details and how to sign up. Let’s play.

Today’s junk food: Malt M&M’s Mini Eggs!!

Malt M&M’s Mini Eggs: The Money Shot

EASTER CANDY TIME!  With Easter only a couple weks away, it makes sense to dig into one of the products I’ve spotted on the shelves recently. It’s hard to do reviews of all the Easter candy out there because there’s just such a deluge of it come this time each year. But these Malt M&M’s Mini Eggs intrigued me. Maybe because I see the word “malt” and I think Whoppers. Are these mini Whoppers? They better be, M&M’s.

Malt M&M’s Mini Eggs contain…crisp rice??? Wait, Whoppers don’t have crisp rice. *immediately suspicious*

These Malt M&M’s Mini Eggs come in many shapes and colors, each one speckled with some dark blue pin dots. Visually, these are super fun. The shapes and sizes aren’t consistent, which I’m good with – I kind of like how these are all different. Makes me feel like I’m eating something not so processed – “Look, they are all different! They COULDN’T have come from a big machine, right?”

When you split one of these Malt M&M’s Mini Eggs, you see the layers – candy shell, layer of milk chocolate, and then…the crispy rice. WTH, M&M’s. These DEFINITELY aren’t like Whoppers then. Where’s the core of solid malt sugar???? Are these just egg-like Crispy M&M’s??

Crunchy on these Malt M&M’s Mini Eggs, that’s EXACTLY what they were – bigger Crispy M&M’s. There WAS malt flavor however – that sort of milky, milkshake-y flavor that you get when you chew up Whoppers. So these did have that….so, if you like Crispy M&M’s, these are an amalgam of two great textures/flavors in one? I guess so. I was really hoping these would be like mini-Whoppers, but they just aren’t. So if you’re buying these looking for that, you will be let down.

BUT, for what they were (i.e. malt flavored large Crispy M&M’s) these were quite tasty. I’d nosh these plenty. Nothing truly mind blowing, but totally eatable nonetheless. Thumbs up, Mars Corporation!

PURCHASED AT: Walmart, Germantown, MD

COST: $2.88

Thoughts? Please comment below or hit me up on Twitter @junkfoodguy or LIKE my Facebook Page and message me there. I also have Google+!! Let’s hang out.

Sincerely,

Junk Food Guy