RANT: Limited Edition Swedish Fish Oreo
JFG Nation, let’s just get to it. I don’t want to waste any more energy reviewing these Limited Edition Swedish Fish Oreos than I have to.
I didn’t want this. I didn’t want this to happen. I told you as much on the Nosh Show:
If buzz is what you wanted, Oreo, you certainly got it. Everyone – blogs, news outlets, Facebook algorithms – they couldn’t get enough of these. I’ve been doing this long enough to know I’m not going to break any news. Plus, I’m not going to rush to buy into your BS, Oreo.
So, yesterday, on the way home from doing things I actually enjoy in my life, I grudgingly stopped by Harris Teeter (Kroger affiliate) to find these Limited Edition Swedish Fish Oreos.
And there they were. Damn you, Oreo. Your hubris knows no bounds.
Today’s rant: Limited Edition Swedish Fish Oreo!!
Limited Edition Swedish Fish Oreo: The Money Shot
Look, I’ll just say it one more time why I think these Limited Edition Swedish Fish Oreos won’t work – because in real life you don’t eat Swedish Fish with bitter dark chocolate wafers, EVER. All the other Limited Edition Oreo flavors which seem outlandish I can wrap my head around: Limeade? Probably tastes like Key Lime Pie. Lemon in Chocolate wafers? OOO, how sophisticated. But these? No. NO. NO ONE EATS THIS.
And take your “Maybe it tastes like Dirt Cake” thoughts and stuff them in a sack. Dirt Cake is Chocolate Pudding and Cookie/Cake Crumbles. No one thinks of the gummy worms as the main flavor of dirt cake. Sucks to your assmar.
Let’s get to the play-by-play of my Limited Edition Swedish Fish Oreo nightmare/experience:
I opened, and sniffed, these Limited Edition Swedish Fish Oreo…
…on one hand, they smell exactly like Swedish Fish. On the other hand, THEY SMELL LIKE SPRAY PAINT. Uck, WHY, OREO?
You might also ask why I am a grown adult wearing a tank top. Because it’s 111 degrees outandYOU’RE GETTING OFF TOPIC, JFG NATION. THE COOKIES. FOCUS ON THE COOKIES.
A genuine look of skepticism.
Taking the plunge. Yes, I’m using two hands. Because I’m so very, very scared.
The exact moment when the jaws come apart from the first bite, and the “flavor” starts to ebb…
Oh god.
OH GOD. WHY, OREO? WHY DID YOU DO THIS TO ME.
I DEFENDED YOU ON THE CARAMEL APPLE VARIETY! I SAID THE ROOT BEER FLOAT ONES WERE TASTY!
And now you’ve flown too close to the sun with these effing Limited Edition Swedish Fish Oreos. I’LL NEVER TRUST YOU AGAIN.
Limited Edition Swedish Fish Oreo have a red creme inside of standard Oreo wafers. The creme is gummy and comes apart all oddly. It tastes like Swedish Fish. It does…but in creme form, which is weird and disconcerting and not delicious. Sort of cough syrup-y.
Eaten together, wafers and all, these Limited Edition Swedish Fish Oreo do not taste like Black Forest Cake. The creme is not sweet enough to make the cookie taste better. The combo does not end pleasantly. The JFGal commented after a bite: “OH, THOSE DON’T FINISH WELL.” No, no they don’t.
We know the Oreo cookie wafer is slightly bitter. The creme does nothing to complement. The creme, meanwhile, gets a little lost in the wafer. When the flavors finally mix, they are not good. The chemical-y flavor of the creme mixes with the slightly bitter wafer to form a horrid flavor.
Just…no.
I’m angry, Oreo. I knew I wouldn’t like these, and damn you for confirming my speculation.
Do not buy these.
Purchased at: Harris Teeter, Rockville, MD
Price: $3.00 on sale
Sincerely,
The JFG
Discuss - 17 Comments
Well, you have courage, I’ll say that. No way I would have tried these (I don’t like Swedish fish in the first place). And thank for wearing the tank top, since most guys would be topless in 110 degree heat.
THESE ARE THE WORST TASTING COOKIES I HAVE EVER TASTED AND I PAID $2.89 FOR SOMETHING THE BIRDS WON’T EVEN EAT THEM I FEEL LIKE THEY OWE ME BACK MY MONEY
This might be my favorite post of yours. I laughed really hard. At least you can comfort yourself that your pain was worth something.
I’m surprised that they didn’t come out with cherry pie oreo or a black forest oreo! I think that they should make a variety pack like pie variety with 3 rows of different flavors; apple, cherry, and blueberry pie.
I think Swedish Fish oreos is one major flop
My first thought upon seeing the topic picture was UGH before I even read any words.
Glad to see I wasn’t mistaken LOL
I saw deepfried twinkies in the frozen section at Warlmart. Any plans to review them?
Oreo has jumped the proverbial, shark, ahem fish, with this utter abomination
Unlike you, I was REALLY looking forward to this flavor! Swedish Fish are my favorite candy and I was quite hopeful that these cookies would make me smile. So much so that I was jumping with glee at finally finding them in the 3rd Kroger store I went to. I got into my car, ripped open the package, took a smell, and it all went downhill from there. IT SMELLS LIKE NAIL POLISH was my first thought. I couldn’t get past that strong smell and I couldn’t even taste the ‘swedish fish’ flavor. What a letdown!!! 🙁
“Smells like nail polish” HAHA!
Yes, sometimes cookies are evil.
There is no Kroger family of stores near me. That is good, because I won’t be able to try them.
Barf. Just barf. But I enjoyed your play-by-play. Lol.
@Alex: Hey happy belated birthday man!
Was surprised at how much they taste like Swedish Fish! My coworker & I tried to imagine the product development meeting.
“These Swedish Fish are yummy, but they’re missing something”
“Cookies?”
“OH MY GOD, COOKIES!!!”
You know, when I tried these I was actually pleasantly surprised. I’m a huge fan of sweedish fish and not a fan of oreos. The strange chemical sweetness of the sweedish fish comes through and I didn’t even taste the cookie. Granted, I won’t ever purchase them again, but I don’t think they are as gross as most people seem to. I think it depends on how much you like that sickly sweet strange chemical flavor to begin with. The smell is the worst part!
This is my favorite post. Thank you.
I am laughing so hard at your post right now!! Just what I needed on a Tuesday at the office!!!
I really want to try those Swedish Fish Oreos for myself to see if they really are that BAD but I actually love Swedish fish on its own so hopefully they taste good. I am not sure where to find them so I will order online.
You are so awesome bruh.