JFG Nation, even though this video apparently came out last Fall, I only now stumbled upon it. This video depicts “earthquake boxes” that can protect you in the event of an earthquake while you sleep, showing multiple ways that these boxes snap shut in the event of a seismic event:

Of course, my first reaction when I saw this was WHAT THE EFF. That. Looks. Horrifying. Besides the obvious claustrophobic problems, what happens if I sleep with a foot hanging off the side of the bed, like I often do? In some of these designs, THAT LEG IS COMING OFF. There’s food an oxygen, but what if I have to use the bathroom? Now I’m sealed inside an urn with my own feces!!!

Not surprisingly, I wasn’t the only one who recognized the ludicrousness of this product:

What do you think, JFG Nation? Life saver, or DEATH HORROR BOX? Let me know in the comments below.

Today’s junk food: Cheetos Flamin’ Hot Bag of Bones!!

Even though it is August, my feed is full of Pumpkin Spice everything right now, in addition to the other “Fall” flavors – caramel apple, etc. Halloween candy is crowding the shelves, and even though a leaf hasn’t turned brown yet, it’s apparently time to start putting up the skeletons, the witches, the scary scary decorations.

Which brings us to these Cheetos Flamin’ Hot Bag of Bones – last year the white cheddar version came out, which were fun and I’m sure they were tasty, but I passed on them. This year, there’s a Flamin’ Hot version. I’M IN – couldn’t let these go by.

If I’ve learned anything from the JFGal, it’s that Flamin’ Hot Cheetos are a flavor explosion. I love both Cheetos and cheese curls, so adding that Flamin’ Hot seasoning to the puffed cheese snack seemed all sorts of smart. Result: Cheetos Flamin’ Hot Bag of Bones.

For me, the best part of cheese curls (or paws or cheese balls or whatever shape you prefer) is that they are so airy that the cheese powder explodes off of the curl in a cheese dust storm inside your mouth when you crunch. These Cheetos Flamin’ Hot Bag of Bones promise to be napalm on my tongue.

The JFGal loves the “fun factor” of these Cheetos Flamin’ Hot Bag of Bones. “HURRY UP AND OPEN THE BAG SO I CAN MAKE MY SKELETON!” This is my life.

When I opened these Cheetos Flamin’ Hot Bag of Bones, they smelled like normal Flamin’ Hot Cheetos – cheesy, sort of tangy, burned the nostrils a tiny bit. And these suckers were RED:

Like, radioactive. That’s no Photoshop, JFG Nation – these Cheetos Flamin’ Hot Bag of Bones were spray-painted with spice powder.

Popping one in my mouth, the familiar cheese curl soft puffy crunch was there – nice cornmeal flavor, that familiar cheesy savoriness. Sort of tangy, which mixed well with the cheese. I wondered where the spice was…

…and then WOOOOOOO IT HIT ME. The JFGal’s eyes bugged out the same time mine did – that amazing Flamin’ Hot spice hid underneath the cheese and then came out and POPPED me in the face. Same familiar Flamin’ Hot flavor with a bit more intensity. That cheese dust storm I described before happened here and coated my mouth with tiny pepper knives that made my eyes water and made me cough a little bit. These. Were. AWESOME.

It’s the Flamin’ Hot seasoning in a whole different delivery system, and I LIKE IT. If you like spice, I HIGHLY recommend these. So so so good. Any snack that can make me cry is GOLD.

And yes, the JFGal got to make her skeleton.

Purchased at: Walmart, Germantown, MD

Cost: $2.78

Sincerely,

The JFG