Time for resolutions, Junk Food Nation!  Last year, my resolution was to un-Kipple my life, primarily junk email.  I was going to unsubscribe from every useless e-mail list I was on, delete bookmarks, and whenever something required me to be added to a mailing list, uncheck that box and click Submit.  Has it worked?  ….not really.  Junk email is like a Hydra – when I unsubscribe from one, it seems like two more grow to take its place.  But I’m fighting the good fight, Junk Food Nation.  I really am trying – sigh.

THIS YEAR, my resolution is similar, and this is a big shift for me.  Those who know me know I am a bill hoarder – I have neat folders with all of my bills in nice reverse chronological order, and receipts all in a big manila envelope.  I know, I am certifiably crazy.  A few months ago, I finally got on the electronic bill side of things – companies could mail me billing statements, and I could just archive the emails or download statements online if needed.  And that was a GREAT change – no more billing statements in the mail!  Huge deal.

My next step is this year’s resolution – NO RECEIPTS.  EVER.  I used to be one of those people who kept every receipt.  Back in the day, the rationale was that you’d wanna make sure your credit card company or bank wasn’t doing anything shady.  A nice security blanket for someone neurotic like me.  But then I realized…I HAVEN’T been double checking my receipts against bills.  Ever.  And I haven’t noticed anything wrong – I’ve just been paying my credit card statement. And arguably, once the credit card statement has been paid, I’ve accepted the charges to my card.  So what the hell have I been doing with all these receipts??

Well, no more.  The world is moving towards digital completeness, and I’m getting on board.

What are your resolutions this year? Let me know in the comments below.

Today’s junk food: Pizzerolas!

No, not these Pizzerolas

Although these are not the Pizzerolas chips I’m reviewing, I did think this bag of Doritos was pretty funny.  Why does the middle of the bag look it’s being ripped apart with energy?  Does that make the chips seem more delicious? Not to me.

Pizzerolas: The Money Shot

Pizzerolas by Sabritas! Here we go!  Such a colorful bag, no?

Pizzerolas have no direct translation, but as you might’ve suspected, these basically mean Pizza Rolls.  Pizza Roll chips!  NICE!  Tu Botana means “Your Snack.” You bet your ass this is my snack!  I love Pizza Rolls, so these are off to a nice start.

Incluye!

Pizzerolas come with a spicy salsa pack.  How exotic!  And weird.  Why do I need to ADD sauce to my chips? Aren’t they good enough on their own?

I’ll admit, I wanted to try these chips (1) because I wanted to see if they tasted more like Pizza Rolls than anything else, (2) because of the cool looking bag – how retro, and (3) because of the salsa packet.  Don’t let me down, salsa pack!

Pizza sauce and flavor

Corn chips nixtamalized with pizza flavor and sauce.  YUM?

MMMMMMMMMMM….spanish

You know, maybe it’s better that I can’t read anything on these bags of Pizzerolas.  Reduces the criticism I may have for these chips if I can’t tell what is supposed to be in them.

Salsa packet included!

When I opened this bag of Pizzerolas, the only thing I smelled was corn chips.  I wanted to smell a giant waft of zesty pizza rolls…but alas, no.  As you can see, the Pizzerolas were round corn/tortilla chips that were sprinkled with reddish powder, and came with a salsa flavor packet.  More on that later.

Like mini flattened pizzas? Eh…maybe not

I crunched some of these Pizzerolas with the Junk Food Gal, and she said they sort of tasted like Pizza-flavored Combos.  I disagreed – there wasn’t really that artificial cheesy flavor that I love from Pizza-flavored Combos.  I did agree that the fake tomatoey flavor was there…these weren’t as heavy on the powder as Pizza Doritos.

Honestly, these did kind of taste like Pizza Rolls!  It had that weaker tomato sauce flavor everywhere, with a little bit of cheesy taste to give an overall savoriness.  When you bite into a Pizza Roll, you aren’t moaning in ecstasy because of the perfect mozzarella inside (most of the time you’re trying to figure out a way not to burn your mouth open) – the cheese inside is usually just flavorful enough to compliment the sauce and give a general Pizza impression.

Spotted with sauce

These Pizzerolas had more tomato flavor than cheesy flavor.  In fact, I’d dare say that if you reoriented your brain, you could even taste a little bit of salsa flavor on the chip.

The flavor packet helped push the taste out of the range of Pizza and more into Salsa.  Like I mentioned for the Doritos Inferno, this packet was basically filled with Valentina sauce – a tangy hot sauce.  The sauce sort of tasted like a liquid version of the powder on the chip.

In the end, did these taste like Pizza Rolls? Yeah, sort of – it had all the taste and makings of frozen, processed, pizza – weak sauce, minimal cheese flavor, and all.

PURCHASED AT: OXXO store in Mexico

COST: about $1.50

Thoughts? Please comment below or hit me up on Twitter @junkfoodguy or LIKE my Facebook Page and message me there. Also, you can always email me at junkfoodguy@junkfoodguy.com. Let’s hang.

Sincerely,

Junk Food Guy